How would you feel?

This is your guys baby, not hers. Naming is yours and your husband right. The fact that you're including her name in any way is a blessing. If she wants to get all butt hurt about it, she's missing the honoring part of it and doesn't have her priorities straight. We did grandparents names with our first 4 kids middle names, then my 5th had my husband's middle name for his middle name, and 6th has his goddaddys name for a middle name. Our first 4 babies have my mom's name, then my husband's moms name, my dad's name, and then my step dad's name. We didn't like his dad's name with the first name we picked out for our 2nd son. Didn't like his dad's middle name either. So it wasn't used. I'm sure my father in law would have loved if we had used it, but he didn't throw a fit about it either. You're mother in law will get over it. I'd put a boundary up if she does starts crap.Or, other option is to talk to her about it upfront. Although that would mean you'd have to mention that part of the name before registering.

Does she have a middle name or could you use her mother’s name? We did the same as you for our son however with my daughter we used my great grandmothers name Kathleen Ann but Ann was also a family middle name on my mil side. That said sometimes there is no pleasing some people with whatever you do. I’d just say you wanted a name that represented both sides and that worked with the name that you’ve both chosen.

It’s your child’s middle name - you have no obligation to anyone.

We’re calling our daughter Liora but it’s definitely inspired by my nanny Lorraine, so she’s in there but it’s obviously a very different name, I think anyone should feel touched to have someone named after them in any type of way! Xx

Asking us if we'd care is irrelevant, you know it will bother her, so it isn't something you should do. Naming your child after someone is an honour. To use a name, they do not like or alter their name in a way you know they won't like takes away that honour and is actually disrespectful. It will also be a reminder to your daughter that you purposefully chose an honour name for her Grandma that you knew she wouldn't like so her Grandma doesn't like the name. I would use the full name. What are the names, if you don't mind sharing?

Nah, if you're expecting her to make a fuss about it she should think herself lucky you're even considering giving a nod to her name.

@Hannah I think that someone going out of their way to let a child know they have a name they don’t like is incredibly sad of them. She doesn’t like anything we do if it is not what she wants. She didn’t like that my first born was not named after her Dad. She wants any girl to have her name. This was a compromise.

Thank you all. I think we will scrap her name altogether. She’s not someone that deserves to be “honoured” with a name if I am completely honest. I will have to discuss this with my other half to ensure we’re on the same page about it. He was happy to not have her name the last we spoke.

Just use names you love, don’t worry about honouring anyone especially if they don’t deserve it

My sons middle name is my fathers name and if we had a girl next we would use my grandmas name. My mum has quite a pretty name but my grandmas is old but timeless and we both love it. This is your baby, you name him or her however you wish. Remember what she thinks doesn’t matter, your baby will one day be a grown adult and will have to live with that name for the rest of their life so you do what you think is right!

She doesn’t get a say this isn’t her baby! She’s lucky you’re using her name at all. Don’t like mil who think they’re entitled 🙄

I think for anyone to name their baby, the most precious human being on the planet, after you is an honour — regardless of whether it’s a play on your name. If she wants to make a deal of it or be petty let her; that’s a her problem. You could ask her out right if she’s bothered and if she says yes, then personally I’d leave it out all together.I wouldn’t want to be named after an immature grandmother. X

My girl’s middle name is after my grandmother but we altered it a little to make it fit better. She’s called Lily Irene Clark, with Irene being the English version of my nans name Irena (Polish). I think you’re still honouring her even if you change it slightly.

It’s your kid, pick the names you want :) As much as I love my mum and my husband loves his mum we won’t be using either of their names just because we’re not big fans of them!

We had a similar thing with our mums. We used my MIL’s middle name and shortened my mum’s name for our daughter’s middle names. Both of our mums were really happy with this. X

Of course it’s your baby and it’s up to you but Personally I feel like if you change it it’s not really their name anymore. If i was the grandma in question i would feel a bit slighted although I wouldn’t say anything. If the other 3 grandparents were honoured but my name wasn’t included at all I would be hurt, I still probably wouldn’t say anything but i would know how they really felt about me and proceed accordingly. I’m in a similar situation if we have a girl next because our mothers names are Lianne and Joanne which are nearly the same name so kind of weird to have as two middles but it feels unfair to change one or leave one out when we also already honoured our dads with our sons middle names. In the end I will probably use both even though it doesn’t sound great because you almost never say your full name all together anyways

She got to name her kids, now it's your turn. My daughter is called Maggie after my Nan, but my Nan was neither called Maggie or Margaret (Maggie is an amalgamation of her birth name and the nn she always went by, both names not a name I'd personally want to name my child). She's no longer with us, and I'm no contact with my mother and that side of the family anyway, but I know and my daughter will know who she is named after.

@Jessica Only the 2 Dad’s names would have been used. My Mum’s name was not being used, only a nickname of hers.

My oldest has both of our dads middle names (both of which they actually go by instead of their first names) when we found out we were pregnant again I started thinking about girl names and I came up with Lynnlee Irene. Lynn-my mom’s middle name. Lee-my Grandaddy’s middle name. Irene-mother in laws middle name. We ended up having twin boys so we didn’t use that name at all. But sometimes names just don’t go together and THATS OKAY!! It’s your baby!! You aren’t mandated to give that baby a family name. So name that baby whatever you and dad decide ❤️

I meant to put it won’t bother me if it’s an alter name. I thought you were saying it would bother me if she cared about what you decide to name your baby.

@Angelica Currao Aw, no worries. She definitely has no say in what we name them. I was trying to figure out if it is a genuine issue to use a variation rather than her actual name

I think she should be happy you’re considering naming the baby after her period, even if it is an altered version the meaning is still there

I don't see altering the name a problem at all. Some names just don't go as a middle name, or don't flow with the first and last name. If you have a daughter give her the name that you and her dad love, like people have said you are still honouring her name it's just altered to sound better. I don't see any offence in that x

I accidentally put it would bother me, I meant to put that it wouldn't. We were thinking about using a variation of our mother's names if we had a girl, and both our mothers loved the idea.

I didn't say she would actually say that to your child. If she doesn't deserve to be honoured, why are you considering it? Also, if she won't like it or she will cause issues, then it's a legitimate issue, and you shouldn't do it. Maybe stick to your mum's name and let your partner deal with his mum. Have him lay down the law. You will not accept any negative comments about your child's name. She breaches that boundary, and you go low contact.

My Lg's middle name (Alice) is the same as my sister's and is the name my great nan used to call my mum (Alison) when they first met. We didn't tell anyone we were going to use the name for her middle name until after we registered her, so that no one could say anything.

It's not their baby tell them to mind their buisness or be thrilled you includ3d them in the name at all. My mother in law made a fuss like this but I don't like her name and I wouldn't budge.

We discussed it and have agreed to axe “her” name altogether. She won’t like it. We wouldn’t win whether the baby had her name or not. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The only reason it was being included was for fairness. Our son has her husband’s name, she will feel excluded if we have a girl and her name is not used. Similarly, I don’t see using the name as an honour in this context. It’s not really a thing in my family unless that person is deceased. My father is deceased and I can consider his name to be an honorary thing. As many have said, she should be happy that she was considered. Why try to be fair to someone that will cause issues no matter what? There’s a chance it’s a boy, anyway!