How would y’all react to this

Genuinely asking because I’m at a point where I need to know if I’m overreacting over this. Sorry for the long post! I woke up early this morning, and once baby was up I played with him, changed him, fed him, but after a while I decided I needed to clean our shared room and put my son in his bouncer in the living room where he was watching bluey He was out there for about 20 minutes before my mother came into my room and said I couldn’t leave him out there in the bouncer like that and I was like why? And she’s like because that’s called neglect and I’m like tf? You’re saying I’m neglecting my child for cleaning up our room and letting him be in his bouncer For context we live with my mother, me and his dad lived with her while I was pregnant because we were saving for our own place and I wasn’t allowed to work because of my pregnancy otherwise I’d risk losing my son, she charged us both each 600 each month for rent up until I left my job and then made my boyfriend pay 700, which was like okay but we were the only people in the house buying food and everyone would eat it without pitching in so he would have to buy more just to make sure I was fed Then she talked about us moving back to a place neither of us wanted to move, even though I begged her to give us some time, but as soon as I had the baby my baby she moved the move up knowing I couldn’t work yet, and me and my boyfriend figured it’d be easier for us to find a place if one of us lived there as he had friends there, he stayed with them and I and our son went with my mother until we could save up our own money for our own place I had discussed with my mother us working opposite shifts so someone would always be home with the baby and she agreed until we moved once we got there she said she wasn’t going to do that and said I can’t work because I have a baby, which I found infuriating but she started helping with baby stuff so I couldn’t say anything about it I felt like but no it just feels controlling to me She used to help with the baby before we moved here but every since it’s like she’ll only spend 5 minutes with him, it’s not about me needing about but about why his grandmother doesn’t want to spend time with him, she’ll always put him in the bouncer after 5 minutes of being with him, which is why I find it insane she’s saying I’m neglecting him when she did the same thing except she did it to watch tv and I did it to clean, I have my son all day everyday happily as this is a baby I prayed for over and over, but I don’t ate all day as I’m caring for him and this morning she wanted to say that I’m neglecting him Also she said weeks prior that she didn’t think I’d be a good mom, because when I had my first job I would order things for myself, while paying bills, and then not buying anything for anyone else?? Might I add in that time I bought her a gorgeous Mother’s Day necklace that I was so excited to get her, and she never even work it. Not to mention her birthday was a couple days ago and I spent 60 dollars on a cake plus a gift for her even tho it was the first time I had any money in a long time, and I was the only one of her 5 kids that did anything for her birthday I’ll add that her husband, my step father helps me more than she does with my son, I literally have time for nothing, I never have time to even care for myself at all so I don’t see how I could possibly be neglecting my son, am I overreacting because I honestly feel like tweaking out over this it makes me not want her to be around me or my son and moving out as soon as I possibly can

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You're definitely not overreacting. Do you have a baby monitor? Maybe you could place it where the bouncer is so you can keep an eye on him or bring the bouncer in the room with you? I'm a SAHM and I have to clean and cook and am definitely guilty of putting my son in his swing while I do these things. Definitely get your own place ASAP. I think this prolonged behavior from your mom will drive you batty with enough time! I hope this helps, you're a good mom!

I don’t think you’re neglecting your son at all. It would be different if you were leaving him in there all day without feeding him or giving him attention, or if you were leaving him in there and then going off to the shops etc. if he’s safe, happy and you can easily access him at any time, I don’t think there’s a problem I’m sorry you’re going through that, it doesn’t sound fair at all. You’re a great mama and you’re doing well. It might be worth sitting down with your mum and having a calm conversation about it and let her know how you’re feeling x

The crazy thing is I do the most for my son, and my mother has constantly told me to let him cry it out, to leave him in the bouncer while doing other things the second I do that she says I’ve been neglecting him, on top of it she neglecting me and my siblings the entirety of our lives which is why I parent the way i do. I wish I could just talk to her but every time I try to have mature honest conversation with her she just doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings but her own, I am going to try for sure but every time I’ve ever done this is ended up with her telling me to go cry about whatever it is we’re discussing

@Sierra I have a baby monitor camera it’s just in our room because I almost never leave him out in the living room without me being right there with him, I’d bring his bouncer in my room but my room is just so small

Not neglect. Not over reacting. You appreciate her having you, you appreciate the little help she offers, however, you need time for yourself and sometimes leaving the baby - happily- in a bouncer for 20 minutes while you do something is allowed. If she wants to suggest things, you could ask her her advice on how to get around it? See what she has to say? If nothing, just get on with it.

Not neglect at all. You need a break too. Any chance you and your partner can move out? Sounds like it's just not working out. May as well pay rent for yourselves in your own space.

Definitely not overreacting. I lived with my mother in law for a while when I was young. Was pregnant at 16 and moved in with them. We had a lot of issues like this, and I've learned that only one family should live in a household. You've created your own family now, and need your own space. I would just save up as much as you can so you can move to your own place. Your local social services should have a list of housing in your area, and will sometimes help you get settled in a place.

Thank you all for your kind words, I honestly felt like I was losing my mind over this, because me and the baby’s father are long distance, so I’m the one always with our son, and I was promised by my mother that she’d help me, and I’ve rarely gotten help so having my son has been my whole life, and he always wants me so even when going to bathroom I can hear him screaming for me, I wait for him to sleep to eat, and even with him being 9 months old I’ve gotten three hours of sleep the last three nights in a row, most days I wonder if I’m a good enough mom so my own mother saying that to me today got to me majorly, there’s always drama in this house because there’s 8 people who live here and I want so desperately to move out and get back to his father like we all planned but don’t currently have the means but all your words have given me the hope that I’ll be able to figure it out

shes over reacting by the sounds of it, Its okay to clean and do whatever as long as you’re periodically checking on them or more preferably have a monitor on them. My daughter will be 3 and I have one camera in her room and one in the living room that Ive used since she was born if I needed to clean other rooms or go have a shower etc.

Not neglecting. I know it’s your mom but stop spending what little you have for her, you’ll take even longer to get out of that house

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