in New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

I hate who I’ve become! Anyone else get really nasty

When her dad dropped off my 2 year daughter, I said ‘say bye to your lying dad’ I feel so guilty! I lost my composure and I used my daughter to try and hurt him. I want some advice on how I can cope better and not say things in anger. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be that person and I can’t take it back but I want to stop it in future and I hate that I used her to hurt him. For some context, I’ve just found out he’s seeing someone and he is lying to me and calling me crazy! It’s the lies that are hurting me the most! I’m stuck in a town that I moved to to be with him, I’ve got no one around here, the house isn’t selling, I’m so stressed with work, the dog, the bills, every nursery drop off, all the childcare, all the dinners, all the cleaning, sorting the house for every viewing, I’m broke, I’m lonely, I’m pouring everything I have into keeping it together and I hate to admit it but I’m jealous that he’s met someone. I hate who I am around him. I’m vile to him and then I feel guilty. I just hate him for being so selfish and getting to move on and im at breaking point

Show your support

Make time for yourself! If she’s with her dad take some time, make some friends, go out, do things you enjoy. In the moment remember that it’s about your daughter and not him/you. Prepare yourself mentally for drop off/pick ups. Try some meditation or grounding techniques to help you stay focused.

Firstly I really respect your honesty. It’s refreshing. The anger is something I can relate to and I think given the circumstances is completely natural. Finding out about being lied to never feels good. I ended up finding a very similar thing had happened with my ex also which was a real blow. He had cheated on me with this woman he is now living with - both times I had to drag the truth out of him as he didn’t just come clean. I agree with you though that being this passive aggressive back at him isn’t helping you move on nor making you feel good. I’ve began counseling (my work offer it for free which I know not everyone will be able to get) but one free thing you could do is journal down all of this and get the anger out and all the overwhelm in front of you. I use a notebook but you could use your phone. I know it might sound basic and I was really cynical but it’s actually helped me process some of these shit feelings and they feel more manageable. X

I feel you! This was me last May… I took a decision to move back in with my family temporarily which involved a 3 hour relocation and I know isn’t possible for everyone but I really needed my support network through the breakdown of our marriage. Our family home completed sale last week and we are still going through a messy divorce… but I just wanted to say it does get better, it takes time, patience and a few lessons along the way! Don’t be too hard on yourself, it hurts ❤️‍🩹 I journal and go to therapy to help me process the intense feelings of anger and resentment! I actually like reading my journal prompts back now when I’m having a moment of missing him as they remind me what an **** he is and it resets my focus these days into building the life my little boy and I deserve. You are already stronger than you think x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌