Which party would you go to??

100% would be going to my nieces 1st birthday! There may have to be some compromise if he wants to go to his nieces but I would deffo take baby to the 1st birthday party x

I’d go to my nieces 1st and send my husband to his nieces 5th. They can either have your husband attend without your son so no cousin there, or have no one attend. They should just be happy her uncle is there! Like you’ve said, you’ve gone to every birthday she’s had but this is your brothers baby’s 1st birthday and it’ll mean the world to the family xx

You could always offer to do something with your husband's niece on the next weekend or the weekend before. Take her somewhere fun to makeup for not going 😊 but 1st birthday trumps 5th

I would honestly split. And this year just do family parties separately

I don’t feel you need to do anything to make up for not attending, the birthday girl probably won’t even notice you’re not there as she’ll be off playing. Definitely attend the first! Depending on how much hubbys family moaning he can go in your behalf with present but I wouldn’t be stressing over it. 1st birthday is definitely more important.

Personally 5th bday over a 1st 1st is for the parents not the baby 5th is for the baby or shall I say child since they’re not a toddler anymore! Clearly everyone else feels differently about this lmaooo but I think first bdays are dumb just split and go see your family And your family will be there so you’ll have help with your baby

Definitely have a discussion about if they’ll likely clash year on year that you’ll have to alternate. So if you’ve been to 4 already, logically you’ll go to the 1st and then the 6th etc. if they’re offended then why didn’t they think to check when the other party was? I would all go to the 1st birthday and then perhaps visit and take a little “party kit” games and a cake and make a fuss of your other niece a different day. Maybe even do this the week before so it’s not so sour xx

This is going to be a recurring issue every year, so how you proceed is likely to set a precedent. For starters, I’d want us stay together and go to one event. I also think both birthday children will be indifferent to your presence so this is about pleasing the adults in the family. The first birthday is more important to you for valid reasons and holding this boundary will show his family that they can’t “bully” or guilt you into ditching your own family or splitting up your immediate family. If they have a problem with your son or your husband not being there, let them. Let them have a problem with it and leave them to sort out their own feelings.

My family moves as a unit so if I were u, we all be going to ur sisters cuz this is her 5th bday for the other niece bt the 1st for ur new niece. I think the significance of the 1st bday even tho the baby won’t remember bt the parents will, so go to ur nieces party for ur sister! The other family has had 4 other bday parties in the past that u showed up for so they shouldn’t take this so personal. Also I don’t like how they are acting & making a big deal abt this. They sound controlling & toxic. Cuz if some1 told me they couldn’t show up for a party I planned cuz they have to go support some1 else; I wouldn’t be “upset” & start causing problems. And the fact that ur offering solutions like having ur Husband show up for his sister & niece while u go to urs so instead of compromise they still are not satisfied! Yep that would tell everything I need to know abt the decision I would make. I can’t stand ppl who loose their shit or paint u out to be the villain when they don’t get their way

A kid is more likely to remember their 5th birthday than their first so I would go to the 5th birthday. 1st birthdays are really more about the parents than the baby and I would always prioritize a child over an adult

I wouldn't miss the 1st birthday. You've attended 4 already for his side. Go separately. I'd def let my family know that in the future you two will rotate birthdays and show up as a unit. If its important to each family to have you there, maybe they'd consider working around availability in the future. We had our little ones 2nd birthday two weeks after her actual birthday so that the majority could attend🤷🏾‍♀️. We still made sure to celebrate her on her birthday.

I’d go to the 5th birthday party. It would mean so much more to the 5 year old to see you there than it would the one year old

We have a similar thing in my family my cousin is born on the 13th of April and my LG is born on the 16th. Luckily this year the weekend closest to both of the birthdays is different but we know there will be years where they will have parties on the same day say his was on the Friday and hers was on the Monday they would both want the Saturday. We know not all of the family would be able to attend and that’s fine. My mum will always come to my LGs but my other aunt will probably go to my cousins because her children are closer in age. My nan and grandad would probably try come to both and if not split apart but I wouldn’t be mad if they went to his. I would be mad if they was the same day this year tho and they chose his 5th birthday over her 1st and I think your brother would be to. Always go to the 1st

I would personally go to the 4th birthday party as the child is older and more likely to enjoy your company, but that’s because a first birthday isn’t a major deal in my family. Definitely do the one you want to do as a family because that’s all that matters! Either way one of them will be upset so just do what’s best for you guys!

I would Not miss the 1st.. because if I'd miss it 😭 I would be sad AF omg ! 👎🏾they are trying to control you and I'm glad you are going to stand your ground as a woman 💪🏾 You make your own decisions!

I would go to the 1 year old party. I just think it’s nice to show support to the parents. Not saying that the other doesn’t have your support it’s just that you have mentioned you have been to all the previous ones. I personally do think that they are just upset they won’t see your LO. There is no reason they should be upset with you. I wouldn’t want to be somewhere where people would be upset with me for not attending. If they are unhappy you aren’t there that is their problem. You be happy and comfortable where you want to be. Don’t be somewhere you feel like you have to be to “keep the peace”. That’s just hurting yourself and you deserve better

I'd split and you go to your nieces birthday and he goes to the nephew.

If they’re not happy with just your husband, then all go to 1st birthday. Sorry but if they’re not happy to see their own brother/uncle/son on his own then in my opinion they can shove it where the son doesn’t shine!