Am I losing my mind?

To start out this is never something I imagined would happen, and I’m absolutely heart broken that it has come to this. We are heavily debating rehoming my cat whome I have had for 4 years. He’s moved with me half a dozen times, one being across the country. He’s my best friend but I can’t handle his shit anymore. Literally and metaphorically. I’ll give the rundown you tell me what I can do or if I’m in the wrong. My cat is my best friend did everything went everywhere with me from the day I got him at like 9 weeks old. I had my oldest nearly a year and a half ago and since then my cat has been awful. He goes out of his way to scratch my son twice on the arms/legs twice right under his eye. He has a giant scar under his eye for the last 6 months. Child is NOT allowed around the cat unsupervised we are them together remove the child as he’s not quite learned what a pet is and I’m huge on animal personal space/respect. We have a huge house and stay in the living room kitchen area cat has a huge family room and full basement to roam freely. He started spraying my sons things specifically a few months back got him fixed, and it stopped but now he’s taken to pissing and shitting whoever he wants. Couches, chairs, the carpet, my son’s bed, you name it. I can’t get him to stop, he’s been to the vet, he’s perfectly healthy, he’s just being an asshole and idk what to do. I know he’s jealous but he sits in our laps whenever we’re sitting, he gets love and food, and pets again whenever we’re sitting or we see him. He has free range of the house supervised in the living room kitchen area. We’re expecting baby #2 in a few months and it’s just escalated since we found out. Sadly I’m at my limit. At this point he’s risking my child(rens) health and I’m not playing with that. He’s out only animal and we debated getting him a friend as we thought he might be lonely and then he started this and now we’re scared to as we don’t want him teaching another cat this is okay. I hate to rehome him/get rid of him he’s my first baby and I love him but I’m at a loss… what do I do… I thought I’d have him forever and he’d pass with me and now my partners even more fed up than I am…. Help please…

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Damn. That's a rough one. I think you are right in rehoming, maybe just the way you go about it might make it better. Instead of just sending the cat to any old shelter, seek out sanctuaries or go through friends of friends connections so you can attempt to know he has a good home. It might take a bit to fully accept this decision and that's not something you can rush, no matter how quickly you want an answer. Do you have anyone close that can take the cat in for a bit? If it makes you feel better, we had to give away our bird. Wrecked my husband, I took on the leg work... Maybe have someone else do it for you? Good luck ❤️

Are there cat trainers like there are for dogs? My instincts say get another cat! But it sounds like your partner may not have much patience left for it. If your cat is that angry all the time, he may just be happier in another living situation. It would be an act of love to let him go to another loving home. Not an act of dispare you should feel guilty about.

Vet here! Cats are tricky and can be quite the nuisance when stressed. How many litter boxes do you have? You need one box per cat plus one so he should have 2. Unfortunately neutering him late could be part of the problem. Definitely DO NOT get another cat like suggested above, that will just make the behavior worse. And no, there are not trainers for cats but there are things you can try. First, is there anything, other than the kids, that have changed around the house? Construction, new animals, new litter products, etc. You can try giving him some more stimulation. A window attached catio is a great option (just make sure you get him on heartworm prevention). Next we talk supplements and medications. Purina Calming Care is a food additive, I have seen some success but it does take 6 weeks to build up in the body. Solliquin is also good and natural. Feliway spray and plug ins are magical. Try all 3 of these together even but start with the Feliway. If after 6 weeks the supplement

Route is not working, try asking your vet for gabapentin and/or fluoxetine.