PPD?
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I'd just communicate that you are struggling and need some support. How about share jobs, so my partner will come back from work and give him a bottle and change nappy then cook food. I do the same when I come back from work. See if you can come up with a plan to work together as a unit x
Hey, that sounds really difficult for you. Just wondering about your title, do you think you have ppd? I think anyone would be struggling if their partner isn't supporting them and taking on a fair load. I couldn't do it all and not have my mental health suffer from it.
@Emily thanks lovely, I think we’ve both suffered with PPD/A. My partner suffered when he was first born and I myself am now struggling now but that’s simply because I’m barely finding time to brush my teeth and the second I do finally get chance to brush my teeth without my baby by my feet, my partner just brings him in to me anyway..so I’m simply just not getting a second to breathe. All whilst he gets to come home and whilst he will make the dinner for us all, he will sit on his computer and play games until midnight so I’m doing everything all night by myself just as much as I have in the day 😔
Oh I'm sorry that sounds really hard. Do you have family and friends you could confide in, and who could give you some support while you all find your feet as a new little family? And obviously talking to a doctor too. It sounds very situational for you though at least. I wonder if your partner is still struggling? As you say he is a great dad and partner but honestly, based on your post it doesn't sound like that at all - so if this behaviour is out of character for him then perhaps he would benefit from talking to the gp? It just doesn't sound sustainable for you if nothing changes and I think he needs to understand that. It's hard enough adapting to life as a mum and looking after a baby all day, doing that without the support of a partner who gives you a break is almost impossible, without your mental health really struggling. Sorry that's a bit rambly. If you want to talk feel free to message me x
Thankyou lovely I really appreciate that. I definitely think he could benefit from a chat with the GP. His parents live local to us and my dad lives 15 minutes away in a car so it’s not too bad support wise but of course, everyone works so they support where they can. I think as you said we’re all adapting and maybe he’s struggling more than he’s willing to talk about and it’s reflecting in a negative way towards myself and the baby? I’ll have a chat with him and try go around it in a way of love and concern rather than anger xx @Emily
Good luck, I hope you both manage to come together and have a good chat. It's still such early days into this massive adjustment when you have a baby x
Have you managed to tell this all to him without coming across as blaming and maybe set your expectations first and discuss where he can meet them in the middle x