Am I in the wrong?

You’re not in the wrong and you don’t owe him anything more than reminding him on what you agreed on. He even told you what he wanted. And you also got a gift on behalf of the kids. Next time I’d simply take a video in case it happens again. If he wanted something he should have said even if he wanted it to be a surprise as some people do like surprises but he needs to then tell you that he doesn’t know what he wants or to surprise him. He should be grateful especially because he is still getting a gift and he’s got other gifts. It either sounds emotionally manipulative or it sounds like he wanted more than the shopping trip. Sorry that he is treating you that way though

@Dionne Thank you for your response. He’s previously had ago @ me for other matters, when I was 8/9 months pregnant, & 4-6 wks PP. I was weak & vulnerable, & so to keep the peace , I apologised, even though I had nothing to apologise for. This time, I’m feeling a lot stronger & I’ve got my voice, & I’m not demeaning myself to apologising for something I haven’t done. He’s even gone so far to say I ruined a family day out? No, he started the day sulking, & it spiralled from there. But instead of owning that, he’s accusing me, saying “you were showing off”. I even reminded him of the conversation, where we were in the house & etc. But he isn’t acknowledging it. He’s even gone so far to sleeping on the sofa….all because a 40+ man didn’t get an actual gift to open 🥴🤣…

He is being pathetic

My husband’s 50th birthday was on the 18th but we just had our baby on the 5th. I wanted to do something big because it was a milestone birthday but he said no because I gave him the best gift I could give him, our son. He was happy with a small dinner party at a nice restaurant with the people closest to us. He did get money to buy some new clothes and shoes. He was SATISFIED! All of that to say.. your husband is being a whiney baby. He should definitely be more understanding and if you two had already discussed the shopping trip, I don’t understand the problem.

@veronica but he got something to open a gift from the child by way of mom, a meal out, a card his moment, his day was celebrated he is being a little brat like. Take it from someone whose partner completely forgot their birthday twice!! Being acknowledged like the OP did would have validated I was considered, valued and loved!

@veronica I took him out for lunch with the children. I got him gifts from the children & cards from us all so the birthday was acknowledged. I even said to him I could have easily let the date pass me by and did absolutely nothing but I didn’t, and I did something albeit it was lavish and grand like we’ve done birthdays before. If he wanted something to open on the day, then he should have said. He didn’t, and so the shopping trip for September is what my gift to him is. Yes, he said during the argument “so what you couldn’t get me something from Amazon…you’re always buying things for the children”. That there says a lot - he’s jealous of the children! I’ve said to him before that he’s struggling with the change, and he categorically denies it. But he is. The fact that it is no longer about US, he is struggling to deal with that. I’

@Anita This is the point I was trying to put across to him. But he remains hell bent on the fact that I, as his Fiancè, should have given him a gift on his bday! Like Veronica said, he did not communicate that he wanted an actual gift to open on his bday, he told me he was satisfied with the shopping trip and that was the end of it…or so I thought!

@LeKenya I said to him “you already have that best gift, life and two beautiful children”, he grunted at me! Trying to run a home, look after 2 children, do laundry and etc, I did my upmost best to ensure his bday was marked as best as possible. But instead all he is sulking and moaning about is that he did not get a gift from me on his bday. He got me gifts for mine, quite extravagant which I did not ask for, and have returned one of them because it is far too expensive. But nevertheless his gift from me is the shopping trip, so he has something it’s just not a physical item.

Absolutely but sometimes in life we pick our battles and gift him something cute to make up for the fact his a spoilt brat and doesn't deserve it for peace. I am stubborn too when I know I'm right but a huge softee, gift wrap a cute photo of yourselves, bit of chocolate or slip into something risque and gift wrap yourself 🤣🤣🤣 Next time you have this agreement get a gift card and wrap it up or put the money in a pair of socks.

@Anita I got him his favourite chocolate yesterday, placed it on his desk. He picked it up and threw it on the kitchen counter top. I said “oh you don’t want it?” He said “I didn’t ask for it”, completely ignoring the fact that we usually buy each other random stuff as a surprise. He is very stubborn and I have a feeling he won’t budge unless he gets an apology from me, which I’m not giving. The last two occasions he emotionally abused me - made me apologise and essentially beg like a dog. I was weak and vulnerable at the time. This time, I’m not doing it, and I’m showing him that he cannot bully and push me about as and how he likes.

You extended an olive branch and his just unwilling, let him stew. I'm so sorry. Stay strong x

@Anita Yep, I’m just letting him sulk, doesn’t bother me. Will continue to look after my children.

It was Mother’s Day here in the uk today. I was hoping he’d put the sulking behind him and at least let me enjoy my first Mother’s Day. Nope..he is continuing to sulk, in a rage. He is demanding an apology still which I refuse to give as I’ve done nothing wrong. Until he receives that, he is continuing with the silent treatment, not speaking to me.