Discouraging and pissed
Show your support
Not to diminish your feelings because I do feel like he's approaching things in an insensitive way, but does he have anxiety? He sounds like me and I literally have to bite my tongue sometimes to not fuss when other people are doing things with the kids.
Do you let him do anything for the baby or encourage him too? If you are always the one doing everything then the only role he is going to feel he can play is on the sidelines micromanaging or giving an opinion. I'm not excusing him but my fiance makes me feel this way sometimes too but I also take on a lot and he said I make him feel like i don't trust his insight or his ability to parent so it goes both ways.
@Rachel I'm not sure. He may? He has PTSD.
@Jen he is actually a really involved dad. He does just as much as I do. He just makes me feel like when I do it, it isn't good enough or right.
Just ask “do you want to do it?” every time he criticises you. My husband says that to me and it’s taught me to just bite my tongue sometimes 😂
@Lisa not my husband, but my mom is this way and I literally do the same. The min she starts, I’m like Ok then you do it lmao
Some people are just like that. I had an ex that said I swept the floor wrong (even though he never did it). If he is going to be critical, let him do it himself. "If you want something done right" and all that... 🙄
I don't think you're over reacting. Currently separating from my husband and he did the same exact thing but worse wording and his mom was the same exact way towards me and he didn't stand up for me. Double whammy. I got to the point of literally not answering, trying to just let them get if off their chest and I wouldn't care what they think, wasn't worth the effort to try and explain myself because I can't control their reactions. Once I realized I can't control that part and stopped looking for them to do deliver the answer I expected, my life changed
@Kyra yeah, I need to work on getting to that point where I dont care about his reaction. I'm not there get. It just gets me more and more upset every time he does it
Yep, I remember that feeling. I finally went to therapy but had to rely on a friend to help get me started because I couldn't do it myself. Been doing it a year and a half and it's life changing. Last session I was told I'm on the cusp of being on the better side. It's a lot of effort and nothing to be ashamed of
@Kyra thank you 😊
You’re not overreacting but he’s surely not realised that the way the ensures things are very dismissive/ disrespectful/ invalidating of whatever you do. It’s clear he loves the baby and cares for her so much that he’s literally micromanaging you. I’m sure he has no clue of how annoying and how it makes you feel. Just say it that you feel this way in a calm way or through someone