Lost the joy in being a parent

My twins are almost 5 years old, and I have lost joy in being a parent. I miss my previous life so much sometimes , the constant fighting between both of them and one of them is so mean, and the other cries for the simplest of things. They don't listen half the time, so I have to keep repeating myself. Bedtime is drama, and so is bathtime or brushing their teeth most of the time. I hardly have time for myself to go through the same routine every day . My partner is out of the house more than inside it because he is always working or doing something, so he spends only about 30% of the time at home, so i feel most of the time I'm fighting the battles with the twins by myself. I work has well, so it's not like he has to pay all of the financial responsibilities on him. I love my kids endlessly, but I never wanted 2 kids just one because I always felt like two would be too much for me to handle. Even though my partner helps, it's not nearly enough. It's Saturday, and he goes to work, and when he returns, he will probably spend a little time with the twins, take a nap, and then he have to go to a dinner/party later and guaranteed tomorrow at some point he will be going to work. I felt like I was going to lose it early between the twins fighting, someone crying, and them not listening. I'm trying to take it day by day, but sometimes it's too much for me to deal with.