Am I being unreasonable

So my husband is great on the most part but he’s not thoughtful in the slightest when it comes to occasions. He’ll leave everything until the last minute and just think it’s funny. Examples: - Xmas just gone HE said he wanted to do gifts for each other (we don’t usually do presents as I’m not fussed and would rather spend on the kids) and it got to a few days before Xmas and he asked me what I wanted so I had to order a present for myself. He didn’t wrap it. He didn’t get me anything from the kids either but I got him a little something from them. - this year on Valentine’s Day he bought my card while we were both at the shop on Valentine’s Day and I picked my own chocolates. - Today for Mother’s Day he has got me some flowers off my kids which my toddler picked and a card which he also bought while I was there yesterday. He picked the card while I was standing in the queue waiting to pay for everything else so it was rushed. He also forgot his wallet so I had to pay. That’s all I’ll be getting. He’s always been like this and it’s starting to piss me off. Like I don’t want him to spend loads of money on me but just get me something thoughtful like a photo of us or a bloody keyring and get my card when I’m not fucking there. Last note about Mother’s Day… he can’t even say that he’s too focused on his own mother as I buy her gifts and cards and write them out. He’s a great man otherwise and is very kind and I have a touch of PND too so I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or expecting too much, I’d love some opinions.

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My man is very much like this as well. But he wouldn’t buy the card and flowers whilst he was with me though. That is a bit odd x .. if he is a good man otherwise, maybe just need to explain it to him ahead of time how you feel about special occasions before the occasion comes about or plan something you want yourself ahead of time x but I’m kind of in the same boat but not to that extreme x

My husband is like this. It never really bothered me until this year. Mainly it's embarrassing when people say what did you get/do and your like nothing as he hadn't been to the shop yet 😅 I dunno part of it makes me sad, part of it i think there are much bigger issues in life and he's a really good husband and dad otherwise.

I honestly think we all need to stop buying into all of this commercialised crap! Valentines day, mothers day, fathers day etc, it's all just money making BS. My son made me a card in school, he didn't need to do that, but he did and I love it. Everyday is Mothers day as far as I'm concerned, and mothers, fathers and grandparents should be appreciated all year round for what they do, not just one day of the year where businesses get to cash in 🙄

My husband bought me some daffodils yesterday because I asked but he also bought me a couple of gifts and is paying for me to have a massage. He has bought me gifts in the past when I've been there but because I've said I like/want it, and I'm happy with that. It would be different if he'd forgotten and was buying with me because he had to

My other half is a bit like this. He knows me *so* well but for some reason when it comes to any kind of occasion he just entirely forgets who I am / what I like and it becomes up to me - I said a few weeks ago what I fancied doing on Mother’s Day was just a nice walk and pub lunch, then this morning he goes “where would you like to go?” 🙃 he’s just terrible at time management so is forever coming up with grand ideas and running out of time, then it becomes nothing. It’s frustrating and I don’t think unreasonable to expect / want more. X

It’s one thing if he does this out of actually trying, but it’s another if he thinks it’s funny and brushes it off. That’s immature. I would suggest you speak with him about this; tell him how you like your gifts to be presented to you, be direct because men are quite oblivious but not enough that he feels attacked (I have to find this same balance with my SO because he often does this or has me buy my own gift, which is annoying and feels impersonal). You are definitely not being unreasonable. Even if it’s not a commercially bought gift, he could surprise you with *something* nice. If these days are special to you, then they should be special to him as well.

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