In laws and husband problems

I have 2 kids, 3yo and 4m. My husband complains that I spend too much time with them and saying kids ruined his life and my relationship with him and wish he was single. Me and my husband had past issues with his parents mainly his mother trying to tell us how to parent, wants to always see the kids she has said pretty emotionally disturbing texts as well. Then goes crying to my husband then he comes to me saying he doesnt feel like he owns the kids ‘they are not my kids’ because he wants his side around more. Saying its unfair my side of the family is around more. Me and the kids have not seen his side for few years now. He continues to see them. His mother especially gets annoying and guilt trips alot. She texts him everyday and texts go on and on. I feel happier when we have no contact. All of this just stresses me out because since the kids or even before them I have always been the breadwinner, he has worked but is in and out of jobs paid some little things and he wants a career in filiming he made a film before got rejected with companies and is telling me that his working on one now that should make a hit but I know its not easy especially no qualifications he brings up like many people dont need experience and things like that to get there. He makes promises like we will have a good life after his filming and i wont need to work anymore. His threatening saying that i hope the kids will give you hard time in the future and i will make sure to get custody of them. He says if he cheats dont be suprised. I have only 2-3 incidents of us arguing on record because when i try to record he stops it or deletes them. We werent a really out going type people we kind of just had each other. And we argue sometimes which we resolve quite quickly because he comes first to apologise and said all the things said was out of anger. Then this repeats again. If we divorced he said he will go to my parents or tell people the type of person i am and that i am the cause of his behaviour. I love him very much and its just hard to even think of leaving we have been together for almost 10 years.

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He sounds pretty manipulative and emotionally/ verbally abusive tbh and if he’s not making you feel safe and secure (as much as it hurts) it’s time to part ways to create a better environment for yourself and the children

Respectfully mama, this man does not love you. Please talk to your parents, share how you’re feeling and everything you’re experiencing. When you record things, please send it to an email that you and a safe person have access to it in case that something bad happens to you so that person would be able to fight for custody of your babies.

Who sent the text in the screenshot? It sounds like he is emotionally abusing you. If he wants to be single so bad, I'd honour that wish. You deserve so much better. "He doesn't feel like he owns the kids" is a horrifying sentence. I can understand him being upset if his family isn't around. Could he take the kids to visit without you? Is his family a danger to your kids? Why aren't they around more? How involved is your family?

@Hannah those texts are form his mother, me and the kids have not been in contact with her but husband complains saying ‘my parents are nice people and they havent got a chance to see my second’ they are not a danger but i have the mindset they dont derserve to see them because of what i am going through with his son treating me like that im technically doing everything relating to the kids. He only recently contcted his parents again after a few years because they have been emotionally abusing him too and annoying things especially his mother which was almost a court case but his grandma passed and he decided drop the case. I take my kids over to mine most of the time.

Girl that man does not love or care for you. He is manipulate and abusive with his words. What exactly do you love ? A man that says he wishes he was single and kids ruined his life? A man that doesn’t put his family in place? Who says don’t be surprised if he cheats? Where you been making most of the money? What exactly will you be losing to someone so stresses you out? And continues with repeated patterns? This “man “will continue on this way with what u allow. Yes yall been together for so long but that doesn’t mean he can treat you and the kids however no excuse. A true man and husband will do everything it takes to love cherish, fix and take care of his family.. especially knowing how to talk to his wife. Girl if u don’t let this go u gonna continue being in the same cycle 10 times worse.

@Helen, they don't deserve to see their grand kids because of their son? That's awful. The fact that they are clearly emotionally abusive is enough to limit contact, and I understand why you did. I would have done the same. I'm sorry you are going through this.

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