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I would have a discussion with her about this and see how she feels. Does she get triggered by seeing your kids or kids/mommy videos? Tell her you understand how she could feel but what to understand more about how she does feel. Don't tiptoe around the matter just get a better understanding and also tell her how you feel that the friendship feels like a punishment now for you having kids. I remember feeling like this when I had 3 miscarriages and wanting nothing to do with other people pregnant or having kids. But until we reach a point of understanding and acceptance within ourselves we don't want anything to do with others. At least that's how I felt. So I get that it's hard but we also can't feel responsible for others feelings to an extent. i think you are feeling responsible for her feelings enough with understanding where she's coming from but need to express that to her to then have her understand where you're coming from. Just my 2 cents. ❤️
@Paola ive started to take it person when she’ll awknowledge other videos I send but she wont awknowledge if i sent mum ones (it’s not often) and it’s only mum ones like tidying up, how the mum does everything and feeling drained, suffering from postpartum anxiety etc. I’m sending these in relation to the negative being a mum brings like PPD, aniexty, burnout but she can’t be supportive to even heart react or whatever you know just point blank ignores
@Kalina I was thinking that but then I don’t want her to think I’m making it a big deal and rubbing it in I have kids and you don’t kinda thing. I’m not sure what’s triggering her. I’ve tried to keep it normal and still send pics/videos every now and again and she won’t react to them or reply. My girl just started walking yesterday so sent a video a she reacted but wants like OMG WELL DONE etc when usually she would voice a reaction back or say cute etc. I’ve asked her a lot to do things either together, with kids or when at nursery so I’d just have 1yr old and she’s ‘always busy’ but then wil post on socials being out with other people. She went for a birthday meal in Feb with a group of her girl pals but didn’t invite me. I totally get it because I’ve literally been there and been in her position so you’d think she’d vent to me. I try be positive and be like I’m literally living proof that even if you’ve been told you can’t have kids it CAN happen you just never know x
Probably better to keep away from her, it will benefit you and your kids , you don't need a negative energy and jealousy I had a friend 12 years older , she never had a relationship , she just was not interested in this, she studied all her life...and I talked a lot with her that is my dream to become a mum one day...she was supportive, but I was very handy to her and I think she was thinking like I will stay alone as I was not lucky with men... Then I met a guy, not ideal, with very hard situation...but I knew I could have a kids with him...BTW when she met him,I could see she had a feelings for him...but supported me although was involved too much in our relationship....then I fell pregnant and suddenly she realised she lost her life for study and she wished she could have a kids...Once when I was heavily pregnant she cried and said I will forget about her because now I have family...I did not want to do so obviously, but this woman did not give me a space with a newborn and she was making nasty comments
Like my partner will cause me problems and that he does not love me and our daughter...Once she said my place is a messy and is so easy to keep place clean...I could see she was bursting from jealousy and was too toxic for me
You need different people around you, who will understand you and be happy for your kids...many women without kids can't relate
@Nastia yeah I think I’m going to keep a distance because I tried calling her bluff and sent her a few random tik tok that she’s replied to then I sent her a’mum one’ that said along the lines off how your routines the same everyday, get up, sort the kids, tidy, no one to speak too no one to do things with etc. I sent her this as I relate to that and can feel lonely and she hasn’t reacted to it but seen it. Can’t be bothered with that at all. I sent her pics of my daughter as she looked cute and she reacted with a love heart but usually she would reply with a comment like cute, adorable etc but now nothing. Don’t understand, meant to be good friends but apparently can’t even keep her involved in the kids updates. Weird behaviour. Don’t see me complaining that I don’t want to see her pictures of her posting out having free time and doing fun things 🤣 it’s the same concept
Our life is totally different now to child free women, is so hard to keep friendship with them even if you were friends for a long time...I can understand her, and if I was you I never would send pics of my kids especialy to child free women and who is desperately dreaming of getting pregnant, is hurts...I never send pics to my ex friend when I gave a birth, I knew she was jealous and she would deny this as it will look on her like a weakness...she was using gas lighting , one day she say something then totally opposite , I knew she was miserable...I could feel And you know what is funny ? When I had a newborn and no village , she was lecturing me that I should put effort to save friendship with friends , with friends who did not have kids and wanted me to be alone to be handy for them....really ? Now I don't have time for myself even, I am dreaming about having nice and relaxing bath...
@Nastia yeah i get and i understand it would be hard for her but from now on im not sending anything. I’m not responsible for her feelings or for her reason she’s struggling. I’ve been where she’s at so I really do get it but from my perspective I just keep all the feelings in no matter how much I hurt not obviously show people that I’m upset or annoyed or jealous. She doesn’t do it with her other friends who have kids even though they’re a bit older but still. I’m going to go on quiet mode with her and see how long it takes for her to take an interest.
Good choice, go on silence mode...and don't even rush to reply...believe she not gonna change even if you will try to talk to her, probably she will give excuses... My ex friend had another friend not so close to her as me, and once other friend gave a birth obviously she become slightly distance...I was pregnant but I did not open up not have jealousy because previously I had miscarriage...so one time she told me that she liked her other friend more before she had a child.... So selfish...she lost her years and now she wants her single , handy friends never to become a mum because she will lose them? Even I experience that some mums with one child and who does not want another baby because is so hard to raise them, they have jealousy to those who have multiple
I mature friend would understand, sounds like a real toxic person. Stay away at least for a while. This is not healthy for you or her. I had a similar experience with a friend which I decided not to hang out with because I felt she was resentful.