If you don’t want to babysit for a family member would you be honest or just make up a lie to get out of it?

If you don’t want to do it, just say so. I’ve turned my sister down in the past and felt guilty but I had my own life too back then when her kids were small

Is there any point you might want this favor returned? I would consider that before deciding

Could you not just say only at your house?

My sister offered to babysit my boys (5 and 3 month old) while my husband and I go out of town for 3 days for our late anniversary. She also have 3 kids (14 - on the spectrum, 7, 1.5 year old) of her own and looking after my kids too, that’s a total of 5 kids. They also went out and do things and she had a party at home for the 7 year old. This was recently, actually. We returned back home Monday afternoon. While we were away, we still call/text her to check on our boys and communicated when we got to our destination. My sister would just tell us to go have fun and to not worry about the boys as she got them. She also would like to go do the same with her boyfriend and we’ll watch her kids in return which I don’t mind. My husband doesn’t mind either.

That’s a huge ask. I feel like I’d just say that it’s too much of a commitment right now.

@Allison yes and no, lol, like if I agree it wouldn’t be solely because I want the favor returned. I genuinely believe my sister deserves a break and she has no available sitter, it would be nice if the favor would be returned when I’m in need of a break too but it wouldn’t be fair if I say no this time and then ask her y’know?

Why does it have to be her house? Especially when you have a toddler of your own, I think being at your home with the help of your baby daddy would with your overstimulation

@Daija my niece gets home sick easily so that’s mainly why she and my niece would prefer it that way

If you want to help I would either talk to her and lay out why you’d rather stay home or talk to your partner and see if you can hash out that aspect

Does she live close by to you? Can you go play at her house for a couple hours a day so she isn't so home sick?

@Daija @Brianne yes she lives close and it’s the sleeping at night part, she still sleeps with mom and dad. When she stays the night at my mom’s she always calls my sister to pick her. And my bf/bd doesn’t like sleeping alone, if I fall asleep with the baby in her bed by accident he’s a drama queen about it haha

I feel like I kinda butchered that but it’s pretty much me being torn because it’d be best if I stayed there but my bd wouldn’t like that very much.

I think your baby daddy may need to suck it up. It’s only a week.

I’d babysit but at my house. It’s too much of an ask to leave my home. If your sister really needed you to babysit then she’d understand and compromise.

Would you be willing to look after her kid at your house? It’s kind of unusual to expect someone to move in like that.

i understand niece gets home sick, but i feel like that should be what you should say. i feel like it would be easier and less overstimulating to have her stay at your place so you’re in your own environment, so if you didn’t mind having her at yours instead, then say “i’d love to have ____ but only if she stays at my house, this would be easier on me and my family” then if she really doesn’t like that, she can say “sorry but we’d prefer ____ to stay in her own home so we will find someone else” x

I wouldn't say no just because your bd might get upset. It is only 2 kids so I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad if your bd actually helped you out.

@Jessie it is not a huge ask at all. It's family at the end of the day.

@Autumn it is only 3 days, not even a week

I would grit my teeth and bear it (do it anyway, and keep my reservations to myself).

@s a r a 🥀 what a great family you have!

What if your bd went with you?

your boyfriend having an issue with any of this is the real problem… they’re family and that’s it. if you actually don’t want to watch your niece then you should be honest. your other reasons are definitely valid enough but your boyfriend is not! good luck.

I would say no because I’m not happy to be away for that long looking after someone else’s child. 1 day/night I would be like yeah of course but definitely not for 3 nights at someone else’s night x

I would NEVER pack up my family to stay at someone else house for 3 days so I could watch their kid. Fuck no in the nicest way 🤣 but I would probably say they could stay at our house for those days as long as this family member isn’t the type to ask me to babysit often. That being said, I also get you don’t want to be overstimulated. You’re not obligated to say yes AT ALL. Saying you can’t should be enough. You shouldn’t have to make up a lie or any of type of excuse.

@Vanessa thank you! We all try to help each other out when we can. Especially my family living an hour away and my in laws are 20 minutes away. We originally asked my other sister but she explained why she couldn’t which was understandable. it’s difficult to have some us time but we all do need a break sometimes to reset! My husband and I rarely ask due to because our kids is our responsibility not anyone else. If we ask, they reject. That’s okay too! They’re not obligated too. If they say yes and/or offer, that’s great as well.

Can't bd come with you? I feel like that would be a good idea. He can even help pack bags and help with the kids, too, so it's not too overstimulating.

@Sharon my niece doesn’t stay the night anywhere because she gets really homesick every time. She’s 8 and she’s always slept with my sister and her husband so I don’t think she could handle being away from home for that long

@Rachel I know it’s frowned upon and it even is with me because I didn’t find out until after having a kid but my bd is old fashioned (we’re mexican) and he doesn’t help out, he believes it’s the woman’s job. So he works and I take care of the baby. By myself 😅

@Vanessa my sister and my bd don’t get a long so I don’t think she wants him in her house haha

@Nyasia it’s honestly everything, I’m easily overstimulated. I would prefer the comfort of my own home, and honestly I don’t think I would like it if my bd was gone for 3 days. :/ especially if I’m the one who’s holding the house down, like cleaning and cooking. It’ll kinda take me out of my zone and comfort.

@Maisie yess I love my niece to pieces and I have stayed the night to watch her plenty of times but 3 days is a lot

@Denise haha I love and appreciate the honesty! I totally agree

@Crystal my sister doesn’t like my bd so I don’t think he’s welcome in her home lol. And also, my bd was raised old fashioned, and he doesn’t help with the kids at all. 🥴 I didn’t find this out till after we had a baby together, so working is his job and taking care of the kid is mine.

So he doesn't interact with his child at all, then? Sorry, but I wouldn't be with someone like that. No wonder your sister doesn't like him.

Don't lie, always be honest if you don't want to do something. I'd possibly do it (depending on how easy the kid is) but only at my house, couldn't be arsed to be away from home for 3 days with my kid, it's too much. As for sleeping in my bed, nope! Child would absolutely have to be sleeping in their own bed, that's non negotiable!

@Rachel agreed, There's a difference between wanting a wife and kids and wanting to be a husband and father... I don't think I could see myself with someone who won't even help be a parent to their own child. I can see why sister doesn't like him.

Exactly, that’s why I’d do it personally but make her leave your niece at your house instead. That way when your day comes she will say yes. Unless you think she wouldn’t for some reason, in which case never mind lol

@Rachel he does he’s just fun dad, but he doesn’t help with the hard work.

@Rebecca honestly I think my daughter would be homesick too! She loves her room and toys. She definitely would be crying to go home