Petty but need advice lol

So SD 10 we have on a 223 schedule and bm is very petty and hc. We try to ignore it but I get so sick of her causing issues to be difficult. She needs to control everything and she wants it to seem to sd like “you PACK A BAG to have a SLEEPOVER at DADS HOUSE. Because You DONT LIVE THERE. that is NOT your HOME. THIS is YOUR HOME.” which sd has two homes. And our home is more of a home for her since she has her community here, her own room and all. W bm she is bouncing between her grandmas apartment where she shared a room and bed w bm and it’s so overcrowded, and going to bm bf house and sleeping in his room in his bed or on the couch… anyway, bm won’t even let her have a school backpack, lunch box, etc if we bought it simply bc we bought it… so then bm will spend more money to get one she bought, will either “accidentally” destroy, “lose”, or just keep the items be bought, just so she can’t use something from us and only use the things bm buys. Bm has also been packing extra clothing w sd to “pack a bag for sleeping over at dad’s house” but we have clothes here and everything she needs. Sd doesn’t care and has made that clear. Bm refuses to stop and keeps sending her w extra clothing in her backpack to school and making her bag heavier to carry at school for no reason. She has kinda stopped sending extra clothes we’ve noticed because she doesn’t like the fact that we don’t send all the extra clothing back for her to carry around school, and instead we wait for school to be on break and exchange it in person so she doesn’t have to carry it. So we have just been washing the clothes she’s worn over and sending her back and what she’s already worn here but clean. So she sent her in shorts and it was hot but tomorrow will be cold. We have some of the extra clothes she’s sent before that would work, but honestly the petty in me is coming out and I just once want to annoy bm the way she annoys us and just play dumb. Should I be petty and play dumb OR send her in bm extra clothing she sent?

Show your support

I bought my step daughter jordans nikes all nice clothing wholeeeee shopping spree bio mom KEPT IT ALL you can imagine how mad i was now i send her in exactly same cloth her coat mom as never washed it it looks terrible she has her own coat here I could care less if it hurts her feeling now when everything my step daughter wears from her head to her toes i bought it all but hey you live and you learn as long as my girl happy im ok but sent it back and forth don’t just keep it

Do what's best for sd. That is your guiding light. Anything else is at your discretion, lol

Been here got the tshirt. Nothing will change until the kid speaks up.

@Terry wdym?

Ok to ig this is where im at: -Part of me wants to be petty and sent her and some thing from our house that we don’t care about just to annoy her the way that she annoys us , and then kind of just play dumb and give it back to her during an in person exchange. But then I start to think what if it pisses her off too much and she starts being difficult more and this is a jumpstart?… but then I also start to think. Well she’s difficult either way so what does it matter? -And then the other part of me is thinking who really gives a shit because it’s clothes and as long as they fit her and theyre appropriate, that’s what matters. But then in this situation, I start to think well then we just keep giving bm what she wants and she’s always gonna keep pushing that and thinking that she’s winning and continues to push when you give her an inch.

We keep clothes for sd at our home that she wears when with us. I usually try to send her back in something that she was recently sent to us in. And she always wears the same shoes to her moms that she came to us in.

My stepkids always go back to their mom’s house in the clothes and shoes they came in. They have clothes and shoes at our house that they wear when they are with us. And we wash the clothes from their mom’s house before they go back there. I say don’t be petty, it may be hard but always try to be the bigger person.

Hi ladies, thank you for all of your support and advice. I’ve decided it’s not worth the energy to be petty and cause further issue for no reason. If bm continues to be petty and we’re not, then it sucks but at least there’s still less petty conflict vs more.

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