Should I allow my baby daddy in the labor room?
Show your support
No. You need to be able to focus and look after you during the labour. If your mum is supportive she'd be a great person to have there as she's been through it before otherwise a close friend if you're both comfortable with it. I think having support during it is important because it's a rollercoaster but he does not deserve to be there for it and can meet the baby after like anyone else. If you're not together and its going to cause you additional stress which is the absolute last thing you need then he shouldn't be there.
If he’s gonna stress you out no. That simple. It’s your decision no one else’s.
He’s not acting like a father now, what makes him think he gets the honor to be in that delivery room with you? He’s not even doing the bare minimum. He should definitely sit this one out.
Also just wanted to add you're already apart, he's showing his colours and you're already doubting if you want him there. My BD and I were still together when my baby was born but within 8 weeks he was gone, I haven't seen him since. I wish I hadn't shared such a special moment with him hell always have been a part of the birth and will always have been the one to cut the cord and the first one to hold her besides the dr. He didn't deserve that honour. If you don't think he's going to be present don't give him the honour of being there for the birth
Thank you guys, I’m really glad I’m not the only one who see’s this as an issue or my decision unfair. I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m being a bitter baby mom to him or his family because he’ll probably make it seem that way to his family most likely to make himself look good, but I just want what’s best for the baby and me and him already doing this isn’t gonna be best for us, considering this is my first child . I want peace and love around me as thats all we both deserve through this time. I’ve made the decision that he will not be with me during my labor because you cannot pick and choose when you want to be a father in this world, but I’m completely okay with his family being there if they’d like, I don’t know them as much but his actions shouldn’t effect their decision to see their new family member.
I went through a similar situation where my bd had me and another girl pregnant at the same time. I was in the same boat as you on deciding what to do in the delivery room. When it came time for me to give birth i did let him know when i was in labor and he did show up and he ended up leaving before our daughter was born. I was hurt but i had my mom on one side of me and an amazing nurse on the other side of me and once my daughter was born i realized i was strong enough to not need him. I’m saying all this to say 😭😂 U got this and you are stronger than you think. The last thing you need to do is stress you and the baby out. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
Hey love just wanna give me two cents to what you said. I’m so happy you decided on what’s best for you! Don’t worry about what anyone says or how they feel about it! I also wouldn’t have his family there while giving birth, you don’t know how they behave after finding out theirs (your bd) isn’t allowed. I think them coming if given the option should be told to them after you’ve given birth to prevent any unnecessary drama just in case.
@Eviee i agree and thought the same thing i wouldn't tell then until your baby is born. Keep the delivery room to just you and whoever you want as your close support person. Most places only allow up to 2 people where i am not sure about where you are but I would only have my 2 closest most supportive people. Inviting his family risks them lashing out or trying to bully you into letting him in. Personally I'd wait until you've ahd the baby, have your golden hour to bond and just enjoy some 1;1 piece (those first moments are magical) then send a message that they're welcome to come. Also don't feel pressure into having people visit in hospital that you don't want to. It's important bonding and recovery time and you are within your rights to invite or turn away anyone you like
@Eviee oh no i wasn’t gonna have them in the room with me while I give birth, that’s for me and family, I wanna avoid that drama as much as possible lol
Sorry, it’s definitely a shitty situation. I would save you the heartbreak and just keep distance and try to find peace. Which means also not having him in the delivery room when as you said, he has not and probably won’t be there for you throughout the entire pregnancy. In my opinion only real fathers should get the luxury of seeing and wanting to see their child being born. You might want to have him there towards the end of pregnancy, your emotions may feel bad for him or whatever but I think you letting that happen will just make it more emotionally hurtful for you. Surround yourself with family and friends that love you and can positively be there for you. If he isn’t financially helping now, he most likely won’t help after baby is here so plan on CS getting started.