Going through phones?

So my spouse keeps going through my phone which never bothers me I have nothing to hide. However he used to wake me up at 3 in the morning with imaginary conversations that we couldn’t refine together. I changed the code because I couldn’t do that. Then I gave it to him again and he goes through my conversations with friends and I’ll be venting and he told me that I shouldn’t be doing that if I have a problem I need to tell him first. When I tell him anything that he does wrong he always turns into how I’m the reason he does it. So I changed the code again and made it where he can’t see the notifications. At this point idk what to do I’m so tired of being called names and fighting over this. Is this something that can be saved?

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Go through his, when guys act like this they're hiding something

I've been through this. I can tell you what it meant when i experienced it, however it doesnt always mean its your case too. My ex from several years back did this and turns out he was reflecting. What he accused me of ( that i didnt do) and what he came up with in his head, was actually HIM doing it. He was so scared of being caught that he made it seem like i was the problem so i wouldnt ever accuse him of it. my friend told me to look thru his phone and when I did he lost his mind and hit me. I went thru it again while he slept and found out he was sleeping with prostitutes and several women in threesomes.

I’m gonna have to agree with the projecting. If he’s accusing of things, thinks your friends will just dislike him or hate him because you’re venting to them. Most likely has a real reason for them to hate him that he’s trying to hide or think they’re catching onto

I haven’t found anything when I have gone through his phone. He’s just insecure I guess. The way he acts towards me everyone sees it and he gets mad because they don’t like him. Like somehow that’s my fault. Everything is my fault

@Cidney well that’s strange. Has he been cheated on previously?

No he thinks that he has been

I'm sorry to say this, but he might have those apps and stuff hidden. There's apps that let you hide other apps behind like a calculator. If you can, check his apps store. I know Apple phones can tell you when an app was last used

@Cidney …sounds like he really needs to work on himself then. Like I did go through my husband’s phone (he told me to) when we were dating because I did catch an ex cheating on me. Never did it again, trusted him since. He should gain trust in you as you’re not the person that “may” have cheated on him. Is he insecure with himself in general? Like looks,job, hobby wise and such?

Yeah he’s always feeling like he is not enough and a bunch of stuff but I try to show him as much attention as I can I just have a hard time working full time, in school full time and have three children

@Cidney yeah. Then this is a him issue he shouldn’t be taking out on you in name calling and picking fights. Personally. I’d just ask him out right next time why he thinks it’s okay to call you these name when you’ve done nothing to deserve it or what is it that he’s mad about situationally or internally that’s causing him to lash out at you? Try to seem very unemotional about it and psychiatrist like when asking it. Catch him off guard.

Bad case of projecting babe. Dump him