Maintenance

Hi all, just want to see everyone’s opinion on maintenance amounts, had a bit of an issue with BM over the last month over this. My partner pays £200 a month towards SD and on top pays for her dance lessons and additional things that she needs/wants. We have her at our home every weekend and one evening a week for tea. We also have a son together he’s 4 months old and we have his other daughter full time with us she is 13. If we went through CMS she would get around £129 a month based on his earnings and the fact that we have 2 children at home. But she is demanding more. Now I’m not saying that looking after a child isn’t cheap… but I think asking for more than £200 is a bit ridiculous as we have her every weekend, we buy her new clothes and shoes all the time, we take her out when we have her, we buy her food, I pay for her haircuts. All out of our money, my partner works full time and I currently receive SMP. It’s just really stressful and I want to pull my hair out.

Show your support

Don’t give her more. You already giving more then you have too.

Can you go through CMS then? It takes away the decision from both of you, and maybe you could put the extra money you were paying into a savings pot for SD or something

Definitely don't give her more! We had the exact same situation with my partners ex. He was paying her £300 a month but she wanted more because her partner at the time changed jobs and the pay was less so they started to struggle to pay for all the extras they were used to so tried getting it out of my partner instead and threatened to take him to CM. He was more than happy paying her that amount for his son, even though most months we didn't even spend that on both our kids combined and knew full well based on his earnings she would get less so he let her take him to CM. It now goes through CM and he only has to pay her £135 a month. He was more than happy paying more than he was expected to, he had no problems with that but when people start getting greedy it tends to backfire and that's exactly what it did for her.

Either go through CMS directly cut out the middle man or you can do a working out on the government website based on your circumstances. Send her that in pdf and explain you are paying more than is required. If she wants more you will go through CMS directly x

@Emma it’s absolutely ridiculous isn’t it! She gets the highest amount of benefits too ( I know sometimes can still be a struggle) but her partner also gets a lot of money. They’ve just been on holiday together and I had SD while they went away, but she would never ask her partner to look after her. She also gets her child benefit and child tax credit, I could make £300 a month work for my child but the fact she’s asking for more is absurd in my opinion. We have worked it out and we’re going to go through CMS, she will be entitled to £120, she’s shot herself in the foot 🤷🏾‍♀️he was happy paying the £200 a month but now she’ll get less

@Jess we did this and she would be entitled to £120 a month, she thinks because we have a new house (with the council) and a car that my dad has kindly given us that we have money. We struggle every month but we still make it work. She also seems to think that she is entitled to my money which is not the case, I always buy SD things even when she isn’t here I have never left the children out but it’s getting ridiculous now

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌