Separation anxiety at nursery

A little support please, we’re fairly new to nursery and little one hates it, doesn’t nap, doesn’t eat or drink much and doesn’t play with others, even though he’s quite social while I’m around. It’s only been a month (with a few weeks at home sick) but it breaks my heart. He had a better day last time and even played by himself for a bit and smiled a little and for the first time he wasn’t upset when I collected him. But today he broke down again as I handed him to the care taker and cried so hard while stretching his arms out to me. Turning around and walking away is truly awful. I hate every second of it and then I feel so guilty I can’t focus on work. Am I ruining my child?

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No you’re not ruining your child. If he’s had a few weeks at home sick then when you take him in it’s almost new to him every time and the shock of being left kicks in. He WILL get used to it and it will get easier, just keep at it! Try and continue to make it a positive experience, have a cry in the car when you leave him and you’ll both be ok with time ☺️ When my daughter first started she’d barely nap and wasn’t eating much and I was so worried, but with Time she adjusted and got better at both x

It's all completely normal and he will adjust.

I am in exact phase, my son has started settling in sessions and he cried so loud when they took him in. I could hear his cry standing out and it broke my heart but I reminded myself that things will get better. We are strong mothers, end of the day I am going to work so that I can provide him better.

Thank you all. It took me by surprise because I frankly hadn’t thought about it much before. It’s so hard to walk away from them crying, you always get told to follow your instincts and that you can’t spoil a baby and then this feels like a polar opposite of it all

@Katya My daughter conned me in to having a whale of a time at her settling in sessions and then cried like she was being murdered on drop offs on her 1st week 😂 It was awful 🙈 But we got there and you’ll be amazed at how quickly they adjust xx

We are over 3 months in and my little boy still hysterically cries every single time I drop him off and when he sees me at end of day. I almost pulled him out considering a childminder instead and I still find it hard but they say he settles within minutes of me leaving and his naps have gotten longer🤞🏼 I just think it takes a lot longer for some babies

This is complete normal and common for many. If you can, Ask the nursery to try resettling and take it slowly. What was his settling in length? Also be prepared for lots of sickness there fore lots of upset when returning.

It’s so hard and it feels unnatural to leave your child upset but it does get better! I make my husband do drop offs because I know my daughter would lose it if it was me. But she cried and cried and cried the first month and would sob when I picked her up at the end of the day. But now she is so excited to be there and goes running in and ignores my husband completely like he doesn’t exist 😂 she’s almost 18 months and has been there just over 6 months. Your little one WILL get there!!

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