dealing with being a sahm?
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Since you are thinking it may not workout there must be some things in your relationship that make you feel unsafe and/or uncertain about it. Do not make payments on something that’s not in you name or something you can not take with you If you told him how you feel and he dismissed your feeling you need to get a job or some income to care for yourself Because it can end at any moment get proof of his income so you can put him on child support if the time comes May seem harsh/hurt but you need to be prepared to take care of yourself and your child
@Maya Michalski thank you, he’s very loving and supportive and we haven’t talked about any of it because i just don’t know how to bring it up. The only reason i stay home now is because i worked in healthcare and it became to hard on my body to work and be pregnant. he wants me to stay home with our kid til they are here and start school. i’ve looked into remote jobs, because i just feel like im “mooching” off of him in a way when im not or people look at me like i am. i just want to feel like we’re equal when in hindsight in that aspect we are not.
@Amber he’s offered to put the car in my name, but i just don’t know. we haven’t talked about any of this because idk how to bring it up. i’ve looked at remote jobs but so far haven’t found any luck. i worked in healthcare before staying home but being pregnant made it hard for me to work and was rough on my body so we decided it was best for me to be at home. he’s been very supportive of me being home and has worked very hard to support us and renovate and get us in this house i just can’t help but feel defeated when i feel like i contribute nothing financially. i cook, clean, pack his lunches, take care of the dog, typical sah things but i don’t want everyone to look at me like i contribute nothing bc i try since he covers the financials but it just doesn’t seem like enough (to everyone else not him)
My biggest concern is that he has referred to them as his. Others opinions don't matter as much. My partners credit was TERRIBLE before we got together, so everything goes in my name. I for a credit card and added his name so his credit is finally higher.... but even the car we got (his parents unexpectedly gifted us done money towards the down payment) is in my name to make sure we qualified better. I think the biggest thing is you guys talk about it and how you feel and what the expectations are if you ever get to that point. With your further comments, he does seem supportive, and if he is willing to put the car in your band, i would take advantage of that to boost your morale. Let him know that you are just feeling bad about not contributing as much as you used to, and that you need to feel some sort of responsibility in the meantime (once LO is here, you may feel different, as it is like it's own job!!) Let him know that putting the car in your name would make you feel more needed in the relationship
And make those payments. If your mind set doesn't change when LO is here, then think about it this way: he is essential paying your room and board to nanny your child. You aren't mooching!!!
Do not settle for this especially because you’re not married and would have zero rights to anything if you do split. There are government programs that help with cost of childcare. Get a job and be independent because it’s not looking good already. I’m sorry to be harsh but truly think about this. What if u do split up? What will you do? The way he’s acting already is a red flag. You always need to have money to be able to have a backup plan especially when kids are involved. Also this doesn’t sound healthy for you or much like a loving partnership. Trust me I have been in this exact situation and it never gets better.