Terrible twos !!! HELP
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@Liz it so hard. If I’m honest I don’t care what people think whilst I’m out and about it’s more. Of the staying calm I just end up shouting and having to sit in the garden for 10 mins to get a break x
We don’t find gentle parenting has that much affect when our daughter is misbehaving. What does has the best impact is taking her baby doll away or “removing her from the fun, or the fun from her” but then engaging with her in something else. I follow bratbusterparenting on Instagram and have found the advice there on dealing with tantrums works the best for us. You basically ignore the bad behaviour, act completely unbothered by it and then reward the good once they’ve calmed down. Having said all this, I still have plenty of times where I get cross and don’t handle tantrums very well. It’s so tough, they know exactly how to push your buttons and can be absolute savages!
I’m in the same situation too! My 2 year old girl is also quite advanced and understands everything and we’ve discussed emotions and methods of regulation from a young age, so she understands when she needs to take breaths or get her sensory toys etc. I’ve found that because her speech and understanding is advanced and because she usually will take herself off to regulate without me telling her too, I often forget she is only two and so emotionally she is going to struggle, not know how to cope with her big feelings and not listen. Not listening is our huge problem atm, she’s just completely ignoring me or doing things that’s we’ve discussed (and had huge moments over) that are wrong. Best thing I’ve found to help recently is when I notice she’s not listening, I ask her for her hands, and then say “eyes on me” so she knows to look at me. When I know she’s listening I’ll tell her again what needs to be happening. I then also try to turn the situation into a fun game, as fun is a big…
Element for them at their age. We’ve used ‘calm down zone’ for a long time, where she can sit with her sensory toys and some books and calm down when she has big emotions and wants to be left alone. Usually if it’s a less voluntary entry into the calm down zone, I’ll use a 2 minute timer and she knows she can find me if she’s feeling calm and the timer goes off. That’s when she’ll come give me a hug, then discuss what happened. We’ve also used the zones of regulation to discuss our emotions and how to regulate, but I was lacking in this recently which I think didn’t help with her outbursts, so I’ve gone back to ensuring this is mentioned regularly. Not sure if you’ve introduced any self regulation with your son, but definitely worth a try! For example, there’s blow of the candles, smell the flower and blow the petals/catch the kiss and blow it, compressions, counting, killing/star jumps, sensory toys and reading a book. Some people also offer a pillow to punch if the child feels…
Like hitting, however I’ve never wanted to encourage that and thankfully have never needed to. Also, we’ve read Campbells emotions books since my daughter was 1 and she loves them and it’s helped her recognise emotions and regulation methods easier. I’d recommend them if you haven’t got them. Also the colour monster! If you have time for it, sensory play is also amazing for them to learn their emotions and likes and dislikes and grow their skills and imagination etc. I have an IG account sharing play inspiration if you’re interested: @ discover.with.play. Sorry, that’s a lot of information! I’ve been big on discussing emotions and self regulation since my daughter was little and until recently (coincidentally when I’ve lacked in discussing the zones of regulation maybe?) she’s been amazing at regulating herself. Any questions or advice, feel free to ask or message me ☺️x
Just read back what I wrote… when I said about self regulation techniques, it should’ve said JUMPING/STAR JUMPS!! 😬😅x
Honestly best thing to do when there’s nothing to take away is to create the fun and take it away!
This is truly a hard age! Something that’s really helped me is thinking would I be comfortable seeing an educator or someone else talking to my daughter how I am, or if there was a camera on me. We try to stay calm but confident in our boundaries, and choose our battles! I like the expression ‘dropping the rope’ so you’re not in a power struggle with a toddler (easier said than done!). Ultimately I think a lot of this with toddlers is time and repetition. Sticking to your boundaries and not getting ruffled and hopefully eventually it clicks with them. Playing everyday and bonding but also following through with consequences so she doesn’t learn she receives any rewards from unwanted behaviour. We try our best to be empathetic and understanding as well as confident in our parenting choices to guide her so she has faith in us. Again certainly easier said than done and I definitely have raised my voice and felt awful after! It’s a testy age but this too shall pass ❤️
No advice really other than I’m in the same boat literally happened this past week. I’m finding it hard to keep chilled out. Taking deep breaths and crying I’ve resorted too. I’ve just put my son to bed and had a feeling that I couldn’t wait for him to go to bed. I really hope this phase passes quickly! I genuinely don’t think I can do gentle parenting in the moment. It’s really hard especially in public when everyone is looking. Following for tips lol