Help, mother in law

That is your child! Keep your foot down. I would explain that you would prefer to continue to take your child to the pediatric physical therapist or pediatric physical therapy assistant recommended by his physician. Also add that you really like his current PT .Do not feel guilty for standing up for what you feel is right for your child. Btw, good luck getting your child PT, my three month old also has torticollis and his doctor also referred him to a PT. We’re excited to get our child help but we’re anxious about it as well!

It's so hard because I feel like my husband isn't going to listen. I still have a little bit of ppa and take medication for it. It's not anything like it was before. I know he's going to ask why I wouldn't want him to have it and get better faster and he won't understand my answer. Part of it's a no because I really feel like the therapy will work, she's done over 20yrs work with people we know who's children had special needs which she still works with mainly. Happens to live down the road from us,used to live in our old neighborhood and her sweet old uncle goes to our church. I just felt like we're meant to be there. I feel like if I don't say something else them just always going to be weak around her.

I know she really thinks it'll help him but I feel like she's not letting me parent. She doesn't like to be told no. She took my husband and his brother when they were little I feel like she'd trying to live like the boys were little again through him

If you feel like you’re meant to be there then stick with it girl! I understand that it’s hard to say something oppositional to someone such as your mother in law. I am glad you were blessed with a good MIL because I certainly was not, however, she needs to understand that the treatment for your child is not up to her. I would recommend explaining to your husband that the person working with your son is doing such a good job that you don’t want to leave her and also that you know she’s experienced and that you even know her on somewhat of a personal level. Explain to your husband and to your MIL that you believe that your son’s condition will improve with the current work being done, and that you do not think it’s necessary to change directions with anything. Do not feel weak, I felt that way for a long time around my MIL. Also, PPA is so real, it’s not something that just suddenly disappears. Being a mom is SO scary yet the most rewarding part of our lives!

Feel free to message me on here! I know exactly where you are coming from and I wish you the very best of luck! Remember, no one knows what’s better for our babies than their mommas! 🩷

@Faith GIRL, I understand exactly what you are saying! She will have to get over the fact that she doesn’t get to make decisions for your child. I know how hard it can be to stand your ground especially as it seems your hubby might take her side. Still, you are his mama, not her, let that be known!

Saying no to her is not rude or wrong of you to do. It seems that you really like your MIL, but if it offends her that you do not agree with her opinion than that is a her problem, not a you problem!

Thank you I will try my best and pray about it. I just never thought I'd have to deal with any type of mother in law thing. It's just so crazy to me. I hope I never become one. I suggest things to people but never expect them to do it and I definitely don't get butt hurt about it. I just don't understand 😕.

I feel that! Good luck, you got this! You’re so welcome! 🙂

Is it a pediatric chiropractor? If not, why would you send a baby to someone who doesn’t specialize in pediatric care? Does this chiropractor even know your MIL is trying to push a baby patient on them? For pushy (well meaning or not) MILs you and your husband really should present as a united front. I would sit down with him and have a convo about all the reasons you think it’s best for your child to stick with the current medical program and professional. Once you guys are on the same page I would keep him in the loop moving forward and have the “no’s” or possibly a more in depth boundary setting conversation for your MIL come from him. We’ve said to ppl “we will listen to your advice and concern with an open mind, but you need to accept that we work with our child’s pediatric team to ensure they are getting the most up to date medical care. We are the parents and we’ve got this handled.” Wishing your little one a speedy recovery.

Thank you. She's a family "chiropractor" she does babies to adults. She uses to work in the nicu I guess. She's the one who asked my mil "when are tou bringing me that baby" she seems very sweet and caring. She also told me shevcould help me as well. But she also told me being a mother I know him best and what he needs. She had a special needs son who passed years ago who was without oxygen for about 30 minutes after birth because the dr crushed his head with forceps. She loves babies. I went with my son only to talk to her because I've never heard of a chiropractor who didn't pop to adjust. I wanted more information. My MIL wasn't able to in depth explain how she does what she does. The other part of me doesn't want to send him because she is pushing. Which sounds childish but I don't want her having her her way. His therapist is a pediatric therapist for over 20yrs for special needs.

His therapist is a pediatric therapist who specializes in special needs children and has for over 20 years. In talking to her upon his first visit. We personally know multiple children and families who have gone to her over the years. And they have done amazing, one recently passed away from cancer and graduated with my brother. I felt so happy after we left, she said he has 90% movement on his left side so that calmed my nerves. She said maybe 8 sessions. He may not need a helmet if we can loosen his neck muscles and alow the head plates to shift We went back this week after doing our own homework for 1 week and he got an a+. We have more exercises to add. She said he was already looser in his shoulders and wasn't making fists. I was happy, I asked about the "chiropractor" she said from what She's heard and knows it feels good in the moment and doesn't last.

For anyone wondering this "chiropractor" is Marshal spinal care in owasso Oklahoma. You can read up on what exactly she does.

I'm going to ask my primary about it tomorrow since my sons dr is out of the office right now. I just don't understand why it's so hard to respect a mother's choice. She says all the time how blessed she is to have such a good DIL but then has her moments like this once in a while.

Let your husband know that you know she means well but there have been multiple times already where she’s brought it up and you have politely declined and it’s become more nagging even tho you know she means well. Try to explain to your husband where you’re coming from and your fears and everything. It should be whatever you’re most comfortable with because you know your baby. Your husband knowing this isn’t the first time she’s brought it up and you’ve already politely declined 3 times could hopefully help because it’s you and your husband that have the say and I would feel nagged or like I was being forced to do something with my baby that I’m not comfortable with if that happened to me. Maybe even try letting your MIL know that you really appreciate all the help and advice she’s given and you know she has good intentions but you are not comfortable with it right now.

Her not liking to be told no is realistically not your problem because you know what’s best for your baby. She will have to get used to it at some point because she does not have control over YOUR baby. Try not to let it bottle up and drive you crazy, I know it’s easier said than done but she is not the final say so for decisions with your baby. You’re doing great momma! Stay strong! You know what’s best!

She got her turn to raise her babies. It is your turn now!

@Lauren thank you, I feel like he'll get frustrated. He's never been a mama's boy and his mom annoys him but sometimes he agrees with her for some reason. I know he loves our sometimes and wants best for him. I just wish he would leave the medical stuff up to me. I will do my best ladies. I have a lot of anxiety about it right now. I almost felt sick earlier thinking about it.

My baby also has torticollis and has to to pt and chiropractor once a week.

I got my bar put in this AM and asked my Dr's option on it since she is a family pcp and she said she did not recommend it. She said if he's doing good at therapy to stay in it.

I prayed really hard and took extra anxiety meds, talked to my husband gently and he said ok that he doesn't have to go to the chiropractor woman. 🥲❤️. Thank you all for your support and advice . Now I have to tell my MIL. My husband looked like his light was fading and I think maybe his mom is breathing down his neck 😔. I'm not sure. We're trying to work on our communication mostly m3. I bottle things up.

Hello my love!! Just wanted to chime in as my daughter also had tortocollis. The GP referred us to a physiotherapist who showed us some exercises to help with her head and neck movement. Tbh, this is enough. Stick at it and over time your baby will get better. We have had 2 sessions but the main thing that has helped her is mines and my partners consistency with neck exercises/movements and tummy time. I feel like if a chiropractor would help the gp would’ve recommended it but I don’t feel it’s necessary for a young baby. My daughter is almost 100%. Hope this helps. X

FYI, I find it helpful to not share with other people everything that’s going on with my daughter. Even the tortocollis problem I didn’t share with anybody. That way they can’t give unsolicited advice. Well they can and will, but not to everything.

@Zara yes thank you. I never put up a update. He is doing so well with the therapist. She's done special needs pediatric physical therapy for over 30 years! She's amazing and not just a run of the mill therapist or person. She uses toys gets on the floor mirrors it's amazing!

Also the reason my milk knows is because she lives next door. I love that woman BUT sometimes living that close comes with its cons. We're young so when we first got together I became good friends with his mother and nievely felt comfortable tell her things in our relationship which was my fault and I've been trying to correct that for years since our wedding counciling at church when the pastor told me that's a no no. Our relationship is 3 people. Me/husband/God.

But we all make mistakes somewhere and learn. She never asked me about taking him to the chiropractor with her this week. I don't know if my husband talked to her or if she just got the hint which she isn't very good at doing. Anyways that was one weight off my chest.

I'm about to possibly make waves because I'm writing a letter to my milk about something she did that hurt me. It was right after my pregnancy and I wasn't I the right head space to discuss it. Now I am. Pray for us please