Is anybody else’s bf/husband like this and if so how do you deal with it??

So my bf is a gamer. We just had a son a month ago and we also have a 4 year old daughter. My bf is the type of person who loves to talk shit. So when he’s on the game at like 12am after everybody is asleep, he’ll be talking in the game chat saying things like “I’ll slap ya momma” or “that’s why trump boutta send you over the wall” like anything homophobic or racist he’ll say. He doesn’t do this around our kids thank God, but it seriously bothers me. I’m a very spiritual person. I’m a woman of God, a woman of color, and just like everybody else in this world, I have my own morals and values. I’ve never heard such negativity in my life. Like I get the gaming part talking shit saying things like “that’s why you’re dead” in a shooting game or whatever. But I feel like he takes it way too far. Growing up, he was raised around bitter women who did nothing but talk shit and didn’t lead a good example for him to follow. But he’s a grown ass man. I wouldn’t even expect this from a child or a teenager. Idk am I being dramatic? I’m not part of the lgbtq community but the homophobia I hear from him is just disgusting. I’m not perfect, nobody is. But I feel like he claims to be a man of God and wants to “better himself” but he’s clearly not. Is it time to leave?idk how much longer I can deal with hearing it

Show your support

I’d be fuming at my partner if he was saying stuff like that, and also what if your 4 year old wakes up and hears it? I’d definitely be having a conversation with him about it xx

Speak to him about it. You need to express how it makes you feel and see how he responds. If he respects you, he’ll make the necessary changes.

My partner is also a gamer. He never speaks that way. I would have been out the door faster than you could say "bye" if he was that disrespectful to other people. Language like that has absolutely no place in my home.

I think this definitely needs to be a conversation between the two of you so you can express your feelings and see what his thoughts are. If he responds poorly, then maybe it's time to reconsider things or get some therapy.

My boyfriend is the same way. I know how you feel.

@Coadie I did, but when we talked he just said he won’t say it around our kids but he’s not gone stop saying it. He always had to one-up ppl on the game and to me it’s immature af. Like grow tf up. I haven’t told him that it makes me uncomfortable yet only bc I had already talked to him about it being an issue with our daughter hearing it

@MK he claims they was disrespectful to him first. Like someone will say something like “you’re weak” and that’s when he goes at them even worse

@Simone how do you deal with it??

Honestly that's almost worse....someone uses appropriate "gaming trash talk" and he comes back with racist/homophobic/patriarchal bullshit? Absolutely not. That's so immature. Firstly, my partner would never dream of being that disrespectful to anyone in his own right....but if he did? Boy bye, he would be sleeping at his mom's until he figured that crap out.

That’s a long story i can’t say in the comment lol

@Simone can I dm you?

@MK I told him today that it made me feel uncomfortable while he was playing 2K and he said “maybe if that guy wasn’t selling (meaning playing bad) the game I wouldn’t have to say that” as if the person on the game made him say what he said. And this time it was worse … he told him “go Jill yourself” like I rlly don’t know if I can continue to love someone like that

Yes

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌