How did you survive your partner going back to work?
Show your support
Following. Exact same situation. C section and partner went back at 2 weeks. I’m on week 4 and I’m struggling. I’m napping between feeds but it’s not enough. The nights are so long, I dread them. I need some tips too 😪
My husband stayed home for months after our baby was born and I aaa still terrified and dreading it when his leave ended so I think what you’re feeling is normal. There was an adjustment period of figuring out how to schedule my day so expect that and try out different schedules. For tips, I reduced the amount of stuff I had to during the week. So I’d do most of the laundry during the weekend, I’d chop all the veggies and season all the meat during the weekend so I wasn’t spend much time in the kitchen during the week. I rely on grocery pick up now or do grocery as a family on weekends. I shower at night when my husband gets home from work instead of in the morning. I open all the curtains during the day so I don’t feel moody and isolated. I go for a drive or a walk or to the library with the baby when I feel cramped at home. lol long message but these are some of the things I’ve picked up along the way
Just talk to your baby, follow their cues and try to start a little routine for the two of you. It’ll get easier!
My partner also went back after two weeks and had been super helpful whilst I recovered from my section. We felt like a team so doing it alone felt really daunting to me also. The first few days will be tough but you will just get on with it which looking back helped build my confidence. I would say be as prepared as you can be, make sure bottles are prepped (if you are formula feeding), nappies stocked up etc. I found I started to get into a bit of a routine and now I love the days where it’s just us two ☺️ Also once you feel up to going out for walks this massively helps.
I was so nervous when my husband returned to work as well! I also thought he had so much confidence taking care of our son, meanwhile I felt almost scared to hold him without having my husband nearby. My confidence really grew from having the alone time with my son. Granted, you are recovering from a c-section and that takes time. Maybe sit down with your husband and work out a plan for what you guys will do when he returns to work. What things around the house will need done? He may still need to handle chores while you’re physically recovering and that’s ok! You had a major surgery, he can handle some cleaning even if it’s happening on his day off of work. If you haven’t already, I would get paper plates, cups, etc so that the number of dishes are cut down significantly. If you have a trusted family member or friend who can come help out during the day don’t be afraid to ask them for help. You’ve got this!
If you have anyone that can do this, I got my mum to come over for half the day when he first went back to work, then the next day reduced the hours slightly she was here and so on. It might seem extreme but I was so horribly anxious and I found it much easier that way as it was a gradual transition to me having a full day on my own with my baby rather than just all to nothing! ❤️
Easily! He was just in my way 🤣
@Lynn-Marie thank you for this! I’m grateful my husband had vacation days he could use because his workplace only granted him one day off for the birth of the child 🫠 One minute I’m feeling good about doing it on my own, and then the next I’m super worried. But I’m sure you’re right — once I’m in it, I’ll feel more comfortable.
@Ness I’m sorry you’re still struggling ❤️ is there any way your partner could help with the night shifts? That’s something my husband and I have spoken about — having his support overnight so I’m not doing full days and full nights alone. Of course, only if your partner has a job he can manage with a little less sleep!
@Deborah appreciate the long message, and all these tips! Thank you! 🫶 It’s definitely sounding like something a little more normal than I expected, which is comforting. I guess I did a lot of labour prep, and not enough 1-week-with-a-newborn prep haha
I got up and started moving! Watch your mind for the bad thoughts and replace them with anything better. And if you don't already have one, get yourself a wrap or some sort of baby wearing apparatus.
@Heather thank you 🫶 I’m definitely glad we had a spring baby, as I feel the sunshine and outdoors are really going to help out with this transition 🙂
@Allyson thanks so much for this response and advice 🫶 I’ve definitely been quite open and honest with my husband so that he knows how I’m feeling, and so we can talk about how he can help. Things felt even more daunting when I imagined myself handling full days, as well as overnights — but he wants to keep helping with nights even once he goes back to work, as long as he’s feeling it’s manageable. Trial and error for now I guess, until we all find our routines!
@Rebecca love this idea! I’ve actually spoken with my mom about coming by for at least one day next week — and highly considering it being the first. Just to ease into things instead of a hard transition right to being alone with the baby (and our pup) ❤️
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
Honestly it helped so much, and then after that even if it’s just for a couple of hours during the day, knowing someone is coming round makes the day seem so much easier and it breaks it up too! I have a dog too, it’s really hard juggling them both to start with! ❤️
@Amanda great tips! And actually just started testing out the baby wrap today. She was a bit fussy in it, but I think it’ll be about finding the perfect sleepy moment to slip her in haha
Oh good! I had a really rough transition, but after I did these couple of things it got much better. Enjoy your baby, they really do grow so fast and this stage is so short and temporary.
If it makes you feel any better I felt EXACTLY the same! Honestly it’ll be hard for a few days but as others have said maybe see if you can get someone to come round and help you, I had my parents and in laws coming round as I was also recovering from a c section. I also had the tele on all day as it’s almost like there’s someone there. I’d say the first week was hard but I soon got into the swing of it, and actually started to enjoy being by myself with her, it’s easier to get into a little routine when it’s just you and you really get to know them better. I promise you’ll be absolutely fine, you’ve got this 💪🏻💪🏻.
@Chloe oh wow, thank you for this! 💕 while I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone, it is comforting to know others have been there — and have gotten through it.
My partner didn’t have paternity leave but he was with me during the first two days. I also was recovering from c section. Those first days I didn’t feel confident at all with holding the baby, doing diaper changes, feeding. I’m a new mom too and hadn’t really been around newborns in general. But when my husband went back to work after we left the hospital, things just sort of naturally set in. Being alone with the baby gave me privacy to get comfortable with everything. I just slowly figured it out while being alone together and now I’m better at it all than my husband is because I spend more time with our son!