Teacher called my mixed race daughter ‘ crazy head’

I think you’re overreacting, it sounds like a very light hearted comment meant probably more towards personality than anything regarding physical appearance.

I don't think she was referring to her hair but making a lighthearted joke about her personality.

I agree with the personality aspect over appearance. I don't think it was meant to be racist or an "attack" on her hair. I've called my half white half Puerto Rican goddaughter crazy head over the years and she has gorgeous straight jet black hair. Nothing racist about it or digging at her appearance. She has also called my husband crazy head and he's a short white bald man. So I definitely think you are overreacting a little bit But I'm in no way trying to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel.

Idk I understand your feelings tbh. Especially if you're a white mum. Now my question would be 1. Is the teacher black white asian etc for it to feel like racism towards your child?? 2. Being a white mum is your baby girl's hair perhaps unruly ?? Do you know how to handle that type of hair?? And I am not being mean so please don't start w that. Just asking because depending on the answer maybe it is directed to her hair!!!! BUT not in a rude or nasty way though but more of in a funny haha way!!!

I agree with the above, crazy head sounds more like a playful name for someone with a wild personality. I call my son “crazy butt” all the time but it has nothing to do with his actual butt 😅

it was in context to her hair as I said to her your hair looks gorgeous today and she went on to say her teacher said ‘hi crazy head’ so my daughter perceived to be about her hair anyway I don’t think I’ll bring it up again with her in case she sees the negative in the comment and then feels hurt. It’s just surprised me a lot that the teacher could be so insensitive

@Lav honestly her hair is beautiful. I do know how to handle her hair. This is why k am hurt by her comment !

Maybe bring it up with her teacher away from her?

Umm im sorry this is not ok. And the people in the comments without similar hair shouldn’t be speaking. So because her hair does not lay flat is “crazy”?? No! It’s just different from yours. You should definitely feel some type of way and so should your daughter. I would speak to the teacher and let her know it’s not OK. People have different things and because it’s different does not mean it’s crazy. Only say something to your daughter so that she knows going forward if people continue to say things like this. It’s not OK.

@Amanda crazy butt is clearly a playful term while saying that about hair is commenting on appearance. It’s not ok.

Reading your comment with more context you’re 100% right in feeling that way about the teachers comment and SHOULD feel inclined to address it to the teacher directly. Your daughter’s hair is beautiful and very similar to my own. My childhood photos exhibit my “crazy” and unruly hair in its full force. It’s hard keeping curls hydrated until you find the right formula!!

Beautiful curls!! Nothing crazy about that! It’s called CURLS everyone.

I understand the moms above, and I agree to an extent, but I still feel uneasy about it. If I’m raising my daughter to have a positive self-image, I wouldn’t want anyone—especially a teacher—calling her something like “crazy head.” Even if it’s meant playfully, comments about her appearance can stick. We’re in an era with so much awareness and info, yet somehow, people still make these type of comments. What if the rest of the class picks it up and turns it into a nickname?

Hmmm yeah if she told you in the context of talking about her gorgeous hair then your daughter definitely perceived it as about her hair!! I wonder if the teacher has made other similar comments to her that reinforced the correlation to her hair??? I would DEFINITELY ask the teacher about it because if it was in regards to her hair (or even just because your daughter took it that way) it’s something that should be addressed!! 💜

Wait! My bad. I read it as “crazy hair” and not “crazy head” now, I’m unsure how she meant it. But if she was referring to her hair that’s not ok. My bad talk!

I’d be more than happy to share what has worked with my hair in different regions if you’re open to, I’ve traveled and lived from the east coast, mid west, and overseas. So many elements can play into curly hydration. I commend you for putting forth effort, my mom struggled with my hair as well. Message me if you’d like to chat more!

@LaShawna oh yeah if she had said “crazy hair” there is no way to mistake that!! In no way should anyone be saying that about her hair! Like I said in my second comment, it should be addressed either way because if this little girl took the comment as being about her hair….then it needs to be corrected! Regardless of what the teacher originally meant by it! 💜

@Amanda yes yes my bad. I was in my feelings for a sec haha. I totally agree!

Can I just say as someone with curly hair and ive always straightened it and treated it to hide curly hair. I think it's best to teach her to laugh it off and not take it seriously rather than get a complex out of it. I think her hair looks cute and crazy head maybe a bit of a teeze at her personality!! I'd be more worried if people started sticking stuff in her hair like kids did to me in school without me realising!! Raise her to embrace the wildness. Nothing worse than being an adult and still having a complex about your hair !!

@LaShawna oh no worries! It’s happened to all of us on this app I’m sure 😂 had that been what was said, you would have been 10000% in the right to respond to this post and my comment like you did! I completely support it! 👏

Why does ur daughter think she was referring to her hair?? Is it solely cuz she said "head" and ur daughter took it literal or wat happened?? I'm an aide in the classroom and call my kids silly names like this all the time, never referring to appearances but always about their personality. Honestly I think unless ur daughter is bothered by the comment don't say anything because u don't want her to start having a complex, however, if u feel absolutely strongly about this still then maybe u can talk to the teacher privately and just say my daughter wasn't offended but I kind of was cuz I wasn't sure wat u meant by that and since she wasn't bothered if u did mean it about her hair negatively I don't want her self esteem damaged simply cuz u were rude, just don't make a comment like that again.

I don’t think she meant it in any negative way. Especially if your daughter likes her teacher and wasn’t phased by it. It definitely sounds more like the teacher was just being silly and playful and may of even not been referring to her hair. I think she was just being playful. I personally wouldn’t address it to the teacher unless I definitely knew it was an insult or my kid was bothered by it but that’s just my opinion.

My daughter has curly hair—she is biracial, and I would be speaking to the teacher had she said that. Not in an aggressive way but I would want to know context and explain that you don’t want comments like that said to her.

Preschool teacher here and mom. I honestly don’t think it’s anything. It’s really just something that slips out that you call all the kids I’ve used the term on multiple multiple kids. It’s something they remember and giggle at

I feel like even if there was no ill intention with it, it was not appropriate for her to say as her teacher. It would be one thing if it was a close family member who you had a good relationship with and you know they meant it in a playful manner, but not someone outside of family.

I highly doubt this was about her hair, I'd take this as about her personality, definitely not her hair! I'd let it go though, as i doubt through teacher meant it how you've taken it

As a black woman who’s going to have a biracial child, I know I’d feel 1000% some type of way if anyone called her “crazy head” depending on the context, tone and their relationship with her. You’re not wrong to feel uncomfortable about it, Incognito. Hair is a sensitive subject for many people of colour, and words like that can carry weight, even if not meant to hurt. Maybe a convo with the teacher to clarify what she meant would be helpful.

@Rebecca this same teacher often said my daughter is too quiet and reserved So the comment doesn’t align with that

Some teachers are way too confident in things like this. When I was in school we was doing a topic about mixed raced people and my white teacher made all of the black kids stand on one side of the room and all of the white kids on the other and left me and another girl in the centre (the only two mixed people). He then made everyone say what was different about us and then the next lesson centred it all around us and made us tell everyone how we “struggle” (thank god I’ve not felt like I’ve struggled much) and how we’re “different”. It was extremely humiliating

Your feelings are your feelings and no one can tell you otherways! Id ask your daughter how she felt about it as her feelings are also important. Moving on from any topic without understanding how it makes your kids feel shows them their feelings are not important and they are less likely to share things like this again. If it is something that will continue to bother you, even if your daughter doesn't care, I'd definitely have a private conversation with the teacher to ask what happened for them to have said this comment and explain to them how you're feeling. Without speaking to the teacher it may happen again and they'll never know it is not something you're ok with. This conversation can also teach your children to stand up for themselves

Eurgh! No you’re not overreacting! Where to begin!

I think it is wrong to refer to her hair as “crazy head”. I wouldn’t bring it up with your daughter though if she is unbothered. Maybe talk to the teacher privately and let her know you were bothered by this comment. However, I will be honest I don’t love the term “puffy bunches” either … 🙃

I don’t think it was racist honestly. I mean I’m asian and people comment about how straight asian hair is. But also she said crazy head. If your daughter wasn’t offended then there may be more to the story. I’m sorry you’re enraged. Maybe try talking to her teacher to find out more about the situation?

Did you post a pic of daughters hair for context? I can't see so unsure of what some other comments are referring to. How old is your daughter? As no matter how young it's important to start having these convos with her in a gentle and almost casual way - her self esteem and identity will 100% start from now so never dismiss or avoid the heavier topics for fear of giving her a 'complex'. Children are not ignorant and internalise things regardless of our own avoidance or cherry picking of what to address. The fact you're questioning this interaction is great as it means you're self aware enough to query your own and others micro-aggressions (which are so real) even if she doesn't yet. Because it is going to happen and it will startle and confuse her when it does, so you're her eyes and ears for now. There are some great books about hair, skin tone, physical differences that will help build her up so she is pre-prepared to navigate any awkward feelings, comments or experiences that may happen in future.

@Ashleigh she did post a pic. See previous replies

I wouldn’t like it, I don’t think you’re overreacting

@LaShawna It’s not there now, it must have been deleted 😕

@🔮Angela🔮 oh ok. Well they were cute curls