Anyone else deal with someone like this?

My spouse, 41, has gastrointestinal issues, allergic to everything, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar. He's always dealt with the GI issues, but because of work his blood has risen. Blood sugar is high because he would drink a ton of soda and coffee with creamer. He's been more on a get healthy journey, which is good, but now "everything" is just bad! White rice is bad, red meat is bad, all th sweets we have are bad, the list goes on! I get it, too much of one thing is bad, but it's not like I allow my children to eat sweets all day everyday. I moderate what we have, I see no problem in that. I am cooking more at home, snacks are usually fruits and veggies. I teach our kids that it's okay to enjoy these things because a small amount isn't going to hurt us, but all the time yes. I don't want them growing up having a bad relationship with food. I just can't take it anymore. I suggested a cloud ceiling for our kids room and he shut it down, because how would I clean it, it would just collect dust. And with our girls allergies and asthma flare ups it would be bad. It's like we can't live life anymore. EVERYDAY the topic of being healthier is brought up. I get he's worried about us, but I don't have those same issues. I'm not the sedentary person he seems to believe I am, on the one day he's home from work. The one day I take to rest and be on the couch.

Show your support

You could paint clouds, or have a light that projects them 💁

Try to remember that he has dealt with health issues his whole life and now that he is on a health journey and feeling better, he probably thinks it’s the best thing on the planet because he finally feels better. If your kids have any allergies just know he is probably traumatized from his health issues and just doesn’t want his kids to go through the same thing. Have you tried to eat healthier with him? Maybe have 2 days a week where everyone eats healthy days? But he definitely needs to put his trauma aside and have his kids have a life too. Sorry you have to deal with this. I would say he needs to compromise

Reframing foods from "good" and "bad" to "on" or "not on" his diet will help the whole family. Remember he's trying to push this on you guys because he feels regret and shame over his past choices and is trying to save you from those feelings because he loves you. That doesn't mean you have to live in a bubble or your kids can't have French fries occasionally. Have general rules you can agree on for the kids' food so you don't have to hear about every nugget. Kids have different nutritional needs than he does, and there are plenty of resources that show what a balanced plate might look like. You can probably get one from their pediatrician. If he brings it up when you're preparing food, you can gently remind him that's HIS meal plan, not yours or theirs. For the cloud ceiling, is he just suggesting you can't clean it at all? That you wouldn't notice your children's allergies and know it's time to clean it or take it down? He needs to apologize and continue the discussion without name calling.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌