No kissing my baby
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Your family sound weird!! Stand your ground, you don’t need to explain it to them it’s your rule. (And a very very sensible justified one!!) I would just say to them that you are bored of their moaning, if they don’t like it then don’t spend time with us. Your husband needs to have a word with his mother I think!
I think it's easy to say GO NO CONTACT when people are like this, I agree they shouldn't be going against perfectly reasonable boundaries or acting the way they are. But a lot of it is down to a lack of awareness, education, and a certain amount of denial by previous generations, because they simply didn't have the information that we do they don't like to hear that the things they did are considered risky or wrong now. It's not their fault but if they're open to listening you can raise awareness and understanding by sending them some information and asking them to read it. If they then continue pushing and criticising that is the point where I would say OK I've shown you why we've made this decision and you can follow it and shut up about it whatever your personal feelings or you can stay out of our lives! Here's a good link to maybe give a try? There's a YouTube video linked within the article too. https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/over-half-of-uk-parents-unaware-of-risk-kissing-poses-to-newborns/
I made the same rule along with a few others and my MIL sent a long message to my husband about how I’m targeting her specifically for those rules and that she should be able to kiss her grandson if she wants and that she doesn’t need to let us know when she’s coming to visit. I got into a giant argument with her about it and it ended with her blocking me and my husband 🤷🏻♀️
Find some articles on herpes / cold sores etc my daughter is two and I still don’t want people kissing her
If they can’t respect your rules then they don’t get access to baby. I’m not saying no contact (unless you want to) as it’s not that easy but they don’t get to hold the baby, they definitely don’t get unsupervised access etc. Act stupid get treated stupid 🤷🏼♀️ no kissing is a very common rule and should also be common sense but whatever.
Stick to your guns. I’m getting to the stage now that if people won’t respect it we won’t be visiting
@Kate that’s what my husband done because my MIL kept kissing our daughter it seems to have worked !
No kissing is a hard boundary for us too. That and strangers wanting to touch her out in public. But if they can't respect it then scale back the visits. When they ask, simply tell them that they can't respect you as the babys mom and the rules you have for her. They need to learn that just because they have a title to her, does not make them entitled to her. You are a mama, you are allowed to worry about the safety of your baby and put her safety first. Nobody should ever make you feel bad for that.
It’s very common to ask people not to kiss your baby. You shouldn’t have to keep telling people… especially family but unfortunately it happens. Stand your ground and know you are making the best choice. If you decide to change your mind then that’s your decision too. Just don’t allow anyone to pressure you. Your baby. Your rules. ❤️❤️❤️
I keep seeing posts about kids being kissed by adults and I’m sorry but that’s fucking weird at ANY age, like one of your kid is sick you have to care for them and for what? So they can kiss a baby that does not belong to them!! Saying that’s her grandbaby is belittling you as YOUR baby mother! It’s like you and your MIL being mad and your husband taking your side and her saying but you’re my son, like bishhhh you anything is over, this is your family and if she wants to be part of it, she needs to be wanted or won’t be around! Why can’t people understand, every person and moment is a privilege not a right.
I send them articles of babies dying from someone kissing them before they come over. I say “if you want her to live past a month old no kissing whatsoever. Not hands, not feet, nothing” his mom said “you kiss her tho” yeah bitch I created her?? I don’t kiss her on the mouth tho so why are u trying to? Weirdo
@Francesca He has! And she conviently “forgets” and accidentally kisses her. She kissed her back once then pushed it to her butt, then the back of her head and then super close to her ear. I have had a hard time speaking up everytime because she blows everything out of proportion and his whole family messages me and makes me feel terrible about everything.
@Rachel Thank you!! sending this
@Hayley Sounds as if we have the same MIL
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@Kate !!!! my MIL has herpes.. and everyone wonders why i dont leave her alone with her.
Speak up - you have to. I would just not read the messages or let them see you if they are being THIS disrespectful They will get over it
@Skye i agree😔 its not very easy. there excuse is okay we did that with our kids and you guys are fine? you have to expose the baby to germs to build her immune system
@Yesi she did that when i gave birth😩 i wanted it to be me and my husband and she was livid!! she blew both our phones up and said she wanted to be there while i delivered to support her only son and only child and had been waiting for this moment her entire life and that as her son he shouldve known and shouldve stood his ground to me(even tho he wanted it to be just us too!!!) and said no i want my mom here.
My baby was kissed by grandma and got RSV from it. Constant fevers and they almost died. Kissing babies isn’t just some silly rule mom sets. WE HAVE REASONS.
@AmarieAnna wait she has HERPES! And kissed your child’s butt!! I’m sorry but that’s just fucking wrong!! That’s very sexualized!! I’m sorry but all this sounds wrong and she wouldn’t be around my kid period! I’m sorry but my child life is priority!!
@AmarieAnna yea my own mother ruined my birth as well! They don’t know how to shut the fuck up and move aside but at the end of the day, your baby is going to love you and just do what you have to do for YOUR baby and don’t feel guilty. I’ll rather have family hate me then me visiting a tomb stone or hospital bed or having my kid have trauma.
Maybe that's enough energy spent on this. I'd just say 'explained already' and that's it. Or send them links regularly of babies with rsv / herpes virus / other things they've contracted from kissing
Why isnt your husband standing up for you and baby? Just reading some of the stories, and it being his family why hasnt he spoken up?? Mil needs to be put in her place quick before something happens.
@AmarieAnna it’s really not that easy! They absolutely love the survivor bias though like i dont care if your kids are fine im not risking mine 🙃
I have an aunt who literally acted so childish and acted like she knew better than me and tried to kiss my baby. I told her if her lips touch my child she’s going to need to leave and won’t be invited back. I set a boundary and if your disrespectful about it regardless of the rule or request I give you an option and stick to it. When she then kissed my child I took the baby back and my husband escorted her out of my home. And she’s not been allowed back sense. She’s complained to my father about it several times and my dad has even said “I don’t know what you want from me. You literally did exactly what she told you not to do. It’s her baby” this event happened when my baby was 3 months old and she’s now 13 months. She’s been blocked on everything and has not seen my baby sense
I just keep my daughter away from people that don’t understand basic common sense. I had my MIL light up a cigarette around my daughter and I’ve not been over there since. People are just thick and selfish