Birth Story ❤️

I would love to share my pregnancy and birth story with you because you played a huge role in it all. My name is Julia, I live in the US and work as a nurse anesthetist in a hospital. I administer anesthesia for surgical procedures and I do spinals and epidurals for OB patients. I tell you this to paint the picture of the work environment I was in and how it greatly impacted my pregnancy journey. I always knew I wanted to have a home birth and naively when I first got pregnant, I shared that with some of my colleagues. They reacted VERY poorly and strongly saying things like “How dare you do that, putting yourself and a baby at risk” “You wear a seatbelt while driving right? Why wouldn’t you be in a hospital it’s the same thing” “So you think that being in a hospital means you’re under the timeline of the hospital? You think that my wife (an OB) and her colleagues initiate c sections or interventions so they can accommodate their schedule?” “Why can’t you do what you want at home, except in the hospital? I don’t understand!” “You’re definitely going to end up having a C-section” It was a normal daily occurrence for people to ask me , “who is your OB?” “Where are you delivering?” “Are you getting and epidural?” Eventually, I started to lie and say I was delivering at a different hospital and when people asked me “are you getting an epidural?” I would say “we’ll see” to which most people would respond, “yah right you’re going to need one” As you can imagine, this noise was extremely hard to block out. I searched high and low for birth stories and pregnancy journeys that resembled the challenges I was facing at work, but I found nothing. What helped me immensely was doing your Birth Box and being consistent with the meditations. Despite all the negativity at work, I tried my very very best to surrender and trust my body. Every day I imagined myself in labor. Not just at home but in every possible scenario, (transfer for epidural, exhaustion,fetal distress, c section). I wanted to be prepared for anything. But mostly, I was imagining myself laboring at home, free of interruption, with my husband near by but me just doing my thing. Intuitively, I knew I was going to be at home when my baby arrived even though everyone around me and my environment was suggesting otherwise. I was also seeing a chiropractor, pelvic floor therapist, regular therapist, and getting massages frequently. I was so comitted to supporting my brain and body. On Sunday August 25th, 3 days before my due date, I went into labor. I will back up and say at about 35 weeks gestation, the baby was very low and I started having loads of Braxton hicks and lightning crotch. I often woke in the middle of the night with cramping and other prodromal symptoms. I was convinced this baby was coming early. Yet again, being challenged by others saying “no first time moms always go late”. The idea of that drove me crazy because of how uncomfortable I was but I have to say my gut and intuition told me I was NOT going to 42 weeks. At my 39 week appointment with the midwives, I was crying asking how can I possibly be pregnant for potentially 3 more weeks. I questioned whether or not I’d be able to do a home birth because if I can’t handle this in between phase of being so pregnant and waiting for baby, then how would I be able to surrender to labor. My lovely midwife said to me “we’re probably going to be in this in between space for at least 2 more weeks.” I left the appointment with the attitude of , okay, f*ck it.. we are surrendering. I went to the library the next day, checked out 10 books. Called my sister and brother and told them to come up that weekend, because guess what ladies and gentleman, we are in it for the long haul! Fast forward to Saturday, my siblings came up to visit and spend the night. I told them, if I do go into labor, which I’m not going to, they don’t have to drive home immediately. But I wasn’t going into labor so it didn’t matter. That night I got into bed and looked at my husband and I said “yah I’d actually love to get a good night sleep and not go into labor tonight.” At 3:30am I woke up with a tight abdomen and feeling like I had to poop. This wasn’t super uncommon over the past few weeks so I didn’t jump the gun. Shortly after going to the bathroom a few more times, I did start to notice a pattern of contractions. At 4am I downloaded the app and started timing them, they were immediately 3.5-4min apart. I was able to talk through them initially but resorted to your breathing exercises. I texted the midwives at 4:45 to let them know, they said call back in an hour and see what the body does. At 5am I had a very strong contraction and puked. I got in the shower for a little but that did not feel good. At 6am my husband called the midwives and let them know my contractions were 3ish min apart and I was breathing through them. They decided to come and arrived around 7:30. During the last few hours I was just doing my thing, using the TENS machine and comb; leaning over my bed and breathing. At 8:30 they offered an exam to which I accepted. They were trying to gauge where I was at since my labor started so abruptly and I was working hard. I told her I only wanted to know if it was encouraging. She checked me and said “I’m very encouraged” and that was it. At 9:30 I got into the tub, shortly after I started to use vocalization. I noticed that the contractions started to feel lower in my abdomen. Around 10:30 I started feeling and sounding like I was baring down. The midwives just told me to play around with that sensation. So again, I was just doing my thing, vocalizing and letting my body go through the motions. Around 11:30 I started mooing, that cued the midwives to come into the room. Prior to that they weren’t in my room, they would come in occasionally to check but otherwise they let me do my thing. I remember opening my eyes and saying “I know I’m not supposed to ask this but, what time is it?” lol It was 11:30. At that time the contractions started to feel like they were starting in my vagina and working up from there I was experiencing fetal ejection reflex. I let my body do its thing and a maybe 10 minutes later the midwife offered to put a finger to where I should channel my energy. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized “oh .. so I should start pushing now?” I had been going to pelvic floor PT my whole pregnancy and she had taught me how to push so I did the thing and then at 12:03 head was born and 12:04 my little baby boy was born! It was the most rewarding empowering thing I have ever done. I find myself wanting to do it again to experience the high. When I got out of the tub 15 minutes later, I got to the bed and delivered the placenta. And then I said out loud, “I just did it! F*ck everyone at work” I just want to say, THANK YOU for helping me let my body do exactly what it was meant to do. at no point was I questioning whether or not I could do it. i never was wanting an epidural. i was so in the moment and in between the contractions I would just let go and relax. It was honestly, a trippy experience. and don't get me wrong it was painful but I was never suffering. Hypnobirthing-positive-birth.com/birthbox