In laws

What exactly is happening

You and your partner will need to have the same opinion on this and then get them to speak to his parents that you appreciate them however, you have your learning to do at your phase and space. Then hope they get the hint! You can't do the talking to them as they will see you creating a division and being a selfish DIL. So it has to be your partner who needs to lay down your boundaries. Do it sooner before you build up resentments.

@Ms Feliz I’m mainly having issues regarding their support with my daughter having hearing loss.. they don’t believe any of the doctors and specialists.. they feel I have done too much and make a big deal about my daughter’s diagnosis when I tell them she has therapists and sessions with individuals who will help her development stay on track. That’s one of the main issues other then that they constantly criticize my decisions even down to how I style my daughters hair or what I put on her for church.. how I care for her while she is sick.. literally anything you can think of they have opinions about and feel it’s necessary to let me know how they feel and bluntly tell me that I should listen to them

@Jehan I totally agree but he honestly wants me to just not care what they think.. let it go in one ear and out the other which is doable some times but then I can only image how things will get the older my child gets and what things will be said to or around my child.. I just don’t like it..

I'm sorry you're going through that. I completely understand. From what you wrote initially I have to command you for being nice and trying not to disregard their feelings — but you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not being nice to yourself and you're disregarding your own feelings. I think it's time that you spoke up and said no or pushed back on a few things with your inlaws. This is your turn to be a mom and raise your child, your inlaws had their time — but before you do, I would also explain to your husband that you're unfortunately not a duck and things don't always roll off your back so easily, so in the moments when his parents aren't respecting you as a mother and their actions/words don't roll off your back easily, that you will be speaking up if he doesn't. Best of luck mama! A parents voice for their child should and will always be worth more than anyone else's. Stick with your gut.

I tell them to stick it

Get your partner involved

The undermining of your authority is not acceptable. If your husband doesn't see any problem with their action and behaviour towards you then that is a bigger issue. The two of you need to be a team in this. The bigger victim will be your daughter who will one day be confused as she's dealing with her health issues. Do you rely on them for anything? If not, then keep your doors closed when your husband isn't around to deal with them.

This has happened to me before and I’ve said, “Well if you don’t talk to them I will, and I won’t be as nice” and that seems to light a fire under him to do it himself

Thank you all so much for the advice! I really appreciate you all taking the time out to reach out! I am going to work around my feelings this weekend and have a chat with my husband and try to resolve this manner! Thanks a ton ladies! You guys are amazing!!

They don’t have right to tell you how to raise your child you are the mother you can tell your husband how it makes you feel as well respectfully I would speak up because nobody has a right to criticize or tell you how or what to do with your child you birthed the child not them sadly some in laws are just controlling and think they can overstep their boundaries you have to set boundaries when dealing with anybody weather it’s family in laws friends does not matter if someone is not respecting you’re choices you have a right to say something they cannot do anything to you for speaking on something you don’t like