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Able to see your phone whenever he is triggered then you need to let him and if that isn't something you feel comfortable doing then let him go and heal without you for a specified amount of time and see how you both feel after that time. Good luck. This is coming from someone who was cheated on and is now trying to continue the relationship and trying to heal. The way you describe your man's behavior sounds a lot like his I get when I'm triggered by something and it doesn't just go away unless I communicate it to my man and he reassures me but most of the time when I communicate it to him he is annoyed and "if you're never going to let it go then why are we even trying to be together?" It's hard for both of us. When it's like that I fight the urge to go through his shit to make myself feel better like I have control over my emotions. If I find something I don't have to be crazy about whatever triggered me. But I know it's a bad idea because if I don't find anything then I get desperate it's just not healthy
So even when he is shitty about my emotions and triggers I try my hardest not to go through his phone. Nothing good has come from it for me.
I can relate as I'm going through something similar currently! I choose myself, my peace, my sanity and my child! I neglected myself for so long that i'm making myself a priority and noticed I was pouring into a relationship, into a man who never gave a fuck and i have bad trust issues with him. I prayed everyday to give me the strength and courage to leave, I feel lonely like you mentioned but I also feel at peace! I pray you find that strength in you to leave, leave for yourself and your kids. Leave if it continues to be like this. It won't end well if it does. You deserve more and better. Don't let your babydad stop you from finding your husband haha.
Being cheating on changes people, it traumatizes them. The only way a relationship can actually recover after cheating is if the unfaithful spouse does *a lot* of work for the betrayed spouse to make them feel reassured and secure. So if you’re able to put in that work, start now. If not, leave him alone and find someone who you won’t cheat on.
Thank you everyone for y'all input and no he didn't cheat on me, also when I let him go through my phone all the time he's still acting like he doesn't trust me. I'm not sure if I should look into couples counseling if in thinking of slowly plans to leave him later on
“Lonely so you went back to him” So you had a man just waiting around for you, that you’ve already taken advantage of, and want him to just be all sunshine’s and rainbows? I agree with what everyone else has said.
Did he ever cheat on you? You say you only got back with him because you was lonely. That can't make him feel good especially after you cheated. Maybe he feels like he has to be with you because of the kids or because he does love you so he doesn't want to lose you but the pain of being hurt by you is still there. He's obviously not over it. I don't know how long ago it happened but I would suggest therapy. You need to accept that when you cheat on someone it changes them. There will be triggers. A lot at first but they will fade over time as long as you put forth the effort to showing them they can trust you. It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort but in the end it shows how u were in fact willing to do whatever it took to show them you would never hurt them again. He has every right to snoop through your things and you should feel bad that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to just ask you because he can't just trust your word after this. You need to discuss boundaries. And if he says he needs to be...