I know i shouldn't complain.

Sis, please complain. It doesn't sound like he does enough

I turned over to go to sleep. He asked directly. I said yea. Took a while to get it in.. I start praying for it to be over soon. I'm like slippery wet, and he keeps stopping. I was getting too excited, so I asked him what was wrong, and he said holding it in, I told him it's fine. So he finished after a few more pumps, cleans me up while I stared at the wall. Then he cuddles me, and we eventually go to sleep. I dated a guy once who could go 3 rounds back to back. I had no idea how rare that was 🙃

@Raqi we agreed that he would do "me time" after the boys went to sleep but then he "had a bad day at work" and so now he does it pretty much as soon as he gets home.

Do you get "me time?" If he's having "bad days" every day and getting to fuck off after work and minimally participate in home life, he needs to get himself sorted. Therapy or possible medication for his mood, a different job if possible, a briefer way for him to decompress (meditation can be great for this) after a bad day so that he can be a present, engaged and hands on member of your household. Like a one off bad day is fine (but do you ever get to have bad days and blow off your responsibilities without them piling up until you get to them next?) but it's not fair to you or your kid. If it were truly a once in a blue moon thing, I think it'd be easier for you to deal with, but it sounds like he's entirely too comfortable letting you do almost everything. I'd just like for you to be taken care of the way you take care of everyone and everything else. So I hope the next time you have a bad day, he makes dinner, cleans up after, feeds the baby food after you breastfeed, changes diapers and more!

@Raqi i usually get one day out of the week. His day off he's helpful. He's not opposed to doing house chores i think they're the bottom of his priority list and usually I have to ask. I think the bad days at work were just a ploy to get some decompress time as soon as he gets home. Which is why I put it in air quotes. I didn't mind doing all the home stuff. The baby care, self care, is kinda expected but its like husband care was kinda pushing the limit. Like icing on cake to someone who hates icing lol

I feel you. We might not mind doing all these things, but we shouldn't have to. And when you're operating at near full capacity almost all the time, it's easier to get pushed to the limits. I hope you both are able to sit down during a low pressure time so that you're able to talk about how you're feeling, and hear about what's going on with him too

@Raqi it's so hard to find time for deep meaningful productive conversation with 2 little ones but I'm going to keep my eyes open for the perfect window. Maybe it'll give me time to find the right words.