Should my MIL help me clean?

If he wants the house clean asap he can ask his mother himself if she can help.

@GMF that's kind of how I feel.

Hell no way, if he wants her to clean then he needs to ask or buck his ideas up and clean the house himself 😡😡

I'm not asking her to do that after all the help she had offered already. He can ask his mom himself or he can clean up. But you? Rest up and tidy when you're ready❤️

If I was him I’d ask my mother to take care of the toddler and help clean up little by little

As a future MIL please ask her for help. All I wanna do is help my babies/ daughter in laws. I would ask To add: I do think he should ask though.

Yes just ask

Let him clean the house on the weekends. He’s off atleast one day a week, right?

I would do anything if my MIL was alive and could ask for her help. I have one son and one on the way and if their wives asked me to come over to help clean the phone wouldn’t even be put down before I was at her door. This is the point of having a village - it’s your family and HIS family coming together to help you, baby and toddler.

My MIL wishes I would have asked for help more often lol. She was so happy when I finally did start asking😂 if you don’t feel comfy, have him ask his mom.

I would because I know she’s always happy to and we’re like best buds so I’d feel comfortable to say I really can’t do much atm if you get a chance do you think you could stop by and give me a hand. But it depends on the relationship and how you feel about it I would still feel really bad about asking but I still would x

He can ask his mum to help. It shouldn’t come from you x

No, your husband should pull his finger out of his ass and help you. It’s not his mom’s job. If she offers, then yes accept the help but she’s not obligated to and she shouldn’t be expected to. Xx

It’s ok to ask for help, but he should absolutely be the one to do it. He can clean or he can ask for help.

My MIL did a bit of cleaning after I had my baby, but she was staying a few days and offered. I would probably feel comfortable asking my mum to help if I was struggling but I wouldn't ask my MIL, if my husband thought it was necessary I'd expect him to ask her

Absolutely not, I would never do that, it’s not her responsibility! If he wants to then he can

You can always casually mention that you both were talking about how helpful and supportive she's been since everything and how you appreciate it all, and just throw in would we be able to buy you dinner or give you some bucks to help clean just for a bit longer til you're better

there’s no problem with reaching out and asking for help imo but she’s not obligated to do so 🤷‍♀️ like if she says no you have to take that

@Heather this would be the best solution imo, if it was an option. My husband is working all weekend, otherwise he 100% would be helping.

Thanks for all of your input, I love the variety of opinions and insights. I think I will frame it in a way thats inviting her to come see her grand child, the 6 week old - my mom thankfully has the toddler this weekend. But if she offers to tidy up a little I will accept that. Or she can just contact nap with the baby so I can do some of it myself

I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for help. However, he should also be doing at least the bare tidy up. I know shit can get piled so fast. She could say no she could say yes. But no harm is asking if you need it especially if you have a good established relationship.

I wouldn't ask her, let him ask her or do some extra cleaning himself.

Hot take maybe…why isn’t your partner doing the extra house work? Why does he need mommy? Surely if he has a decent job and sick time he would be resting if he got sick. Not cleaning while taking time off work. You’re making milk and fighting illness! My mother in law loves to help, and I always just asked her if I need something. My husband pulls his weight when I need him too. Definitely shoot her a text and ask but also ask your man why he’s too good to run a vacuum or do some dishes while you’re sick.

No. Your husband should ask help to his mom. Not you. You can of course do it if you have a super good relationship with her but if you don't feel like it, please don't and let your husband ask for help. Also, you husband is supposed to do that. Mil can HELP yes but he must be responsible of house chores as well

Tell him to ask her.

Personally. If you need that much help. I’d look for a cleaner to come to the home and pay them. Eg. Get the floors clean, laundry done, bathrooms and kitchen cleaned. You would feel better about this option imo

I’m sure you will feel better in a few days, but having an unclean house is probably also stressing you out too and that’s not helpful for your recovery. Maybe you can also get someone to come temporarily to help with the baby ? I would feel better about the mil helping with that than with the cleaning. She can help with the baby and you can go take a nap and shower.

Its nice of your mil to help, it seems like your partner expects it though. In my opinion if you're ill and are looking after kids least he can do is clean when hes home🤷 you're not asking a favour and hes not doing something good for you, to be fair when one of you is ill the other should pick up the slack