Wwyd? Please read

I was thinking of ordering in, but my mother lives with me (I am her caregiver) so it’s not just us two. And what are the chances he passes out before the food even gets here

I understand how you feel but I think the comment before me is totally right. Order in, do something cute together at home. There is time for more dates, but he’s wiped and you’re not going to get attention you deserve or expect if he’s that tired. And punishing him for working hard is a sure fire way to push him further away in my opinion.

@Leeanne I know you’re so right. 😔 I just feel like I always get the shit end of the stick because I’ve been so understanding and allowing it. I even help him on jobs at times because I’m so understanding. I drove up there last night to bring the guys dinner. It took me longer in driving than actually being there. I just feel like if I can make these sacrifices can’t he? He had to finish this bathroom overnight because of his procrastination. 😔😔

Can you call a girlfriend and have a girls night out or at their place??

Just wanted to update- he came home, showered and passed out. I’m starving. He has me blocked in the driveway. I’m debating taking his truck and taking myself to go eat. @Laura 🍉🇵🇸✊🏻 I wish, I don’t have any friends. He’s my only friend which makes it worse. Working from home as a caregiver doesn’t really give me opportunities to meet people

I know you've done this, but have another sit down with him with the focus being bettering your relationship with each other. I don't have this exact issue, but lots of communication helps, especially the kind where you don't sound like you're laying blame on just them. Is he worried about money/bills at all? Or is he just a workaholic? I know this isn't what you wanted, but try taking yourself out on a date 😉 dress up, dinner, ... heck, buy yourself flowers!

If you're not good with words, you can try "chatgpt"? It gives some really good suggestions.

@Brooke he is definitely a workaholic. He woke up at 7am this morning. Slept straight through 7pm-7am. Woke me up with coffee, took me to breakfast, and handed me a diamond bracelet. He started crying saying he loves me more than anything in this world and he’s sorry I get the shit end of the stick at times but he refuses to let this business fail. There’s no back up, just him and I. Thank you ladies, you actually calmed me down and made me not do something irrational. @Lyss I totally get where you’re coming from and I feel that way at times. He tends to not see how bad it affects me until it’s REALLY affecting me and I either snap or shut down. We both need to learn how to communicate better. He’s a great man, he’s just a blue collar workaholic with ADHD. Bad day? He works. Good day? He works. Hobbies? Work. Shopping? Home Depot. Feeling depressed? Go to work and stay until the job is done. He has no quit and zero concept of anything outside of work.

This sounds exactly like my husband and I. He’s a workaholic with ADHD and I’m struggling with how to cope with it 🫠

@Yolanda it’s terrible isn’t it. And one thing can throw a wrench in the whole day. His work schedule changes by the minute. Then he goes and goes and goes and eventually crashes which is what happened last night. Me? I write lists. Organize. Plan the day etc lol. The hardest part for me is waiting on him. Communication also has to get better. I didn’t know he also had his cousin’s friend with him working. Cousin’s friend did all the pipe work. When it was time to leave husband went and checked over the work and all the pipes were leaking so husband had to redo them all. That’s why they didn’t leave until 5pm. Had he of communicated that I probably wouldn’t have been on here complaining lol.

I totally understand ! Our communication also isn’t great. I think it’s an ADHD thing because I just find it mind blowing how my husband thinks I’m happy being stuck in the house all day alone 🤷🏽‍♀️ but you feel guilty because you know he’s out there working. Even when he try’s to make future plans such as dates or holidays now I usually just say “let’s see how we feel on the day” because he always forgets and let’s me down 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Yolanda exactly. EXACTLY!!! I feel guilty because it’s not like he’s out at the bars or with friends drinking. He’s working to provide for his family. Date nights now I don’t even get ready until I know he’s on his way or ready himself. I used to be waiting for hours. Do we have the same husband?! 😂

LOL it deffo sounds like we might 😅

I have adhd… I don’t think it’s an adhd thing… just sayin… adhd doesn’t make you not communicate with your partner. And adhd is dopamine seeking. So you would think his adhd would seek dopamine through spending quality time with you and not just work.

@Lyss we need to communicate better. That’s on both of us. I shouldn’t hold it in until lashing out or shutting down. And yes, you’re correct about dopamine also adrenaline. That’s why it makes perfect sense considering he does manual labor and he’s stimulating his brain at the same time. Plumbing and electrical, concrete work. He does all of it. It’s like going to the gym. Work is his gym. He loves it. We also have daily sex. Another dopamine activity for him (and i). Sitting still with me watching a movie or having a conversation naturally isn’t going to give him that release. He tries, but it doesn’t work lol. He ends up fidgeting or I can literally see his mind racing on 100 other things. I’m calm, cool, homebody, lounge around. And he’s go go go go go go. We compliment each other. I’m the calm to his chaos. I just need to learn better ways to cope and he needs to learn there’s only so many hours in the day and only so many days we get together in this life.