Loser
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Firstly you are NOT a loser, being a mother and raising children to be outstanding human beings is a full time HARD job! You are emotionally and physically available 24-7 and You never get a day of from being a mother, I may be a little out of line by saying this but Sounds to me like you a little more support x
*need a little more support.
Do you feel like you’ve lost a little confidence, mojo or sparkle?
@Bianca Yes and no. We’re in the process of buying a house and he has to work as much as possible, but I also have to be here to clean our house up, so the landlord has less to do when we move out. I’m kind of between a rock and a hard place.
@Lorraine Very much so. My last break from being a mom was exactly 3 months ago.
Is there anyone you can talk too? That can give you non-judgmental advice, someone out side of your inner circle? Have you tired, confidence or motivation books or audiobooks, it might just help you regain control and confidence again, to help you remember who you are, what you want, what goals you have for yourself, Remember you are amazing tell your self that every day, you can achieve anything if you just put your mind to it, block out negativity and reject unnecessary and useless comments that don’t serve you x
@Lorraine I had a therapist, but for financial reasons, I’ve had to pause therapy. I’ve mostly been relying on AI chat for that, which may not be healthy.
He’s probably stressed with working a lot BUT that’s never an excuse to take it out on you. Calling you lazy is abusive & you have to nip these actions in the bud before they grow/spiral/become the norm. Children watch & listen to Everything & internalize our talk & vibes. You don’t want them thinking this is normal or worse knowing it’s not but then subconsciously finding relationships like this & feeling at home. Sit down with him & tell him how hurtful & unacceptable it is. Reach agreement on what it is that will make both of your hard work feel appreciated. For instance my partner always takes out the trash & refills the water as soon as it’s needed, and I always load the dishwasher at night so he has a clean French press in the am. We both share larger pots/pans and take turns making dinner. We both hate laundry so decided to do one load every other day. I try not to keep score cause it leads to resentment. Sounds like he’s keeping score, you’re a team not opponents.
Sorry a “loser”. But I inferred from your post his issue is w baths and dishes. Loser is actually way worse than lazy cause he’s judging your character not your actions.
It's a shame he can't see he's the loser. Why are you still with him?
Does he have weekends off? Leave for a fri, sat and don’t come back til Sunday night. Tell the kids you have to go help a friend if they’re old enough to understand. Let him see how hard it is to cook, clean, entertain and keep kids on schedule. Maybe he’ll understand all you do everyday. But also try to see things from his perspective and try to demand more respect for what you do do.