Partner troubles

I feel like I really don’t like my partner at the moment. He is always tense and I feel like I walk on egg shells and have to like keep our daughter quiet and controlled to stop him from getting frustrated. He never used to be this way and I do think his temper is coming as a side effect from his antidepressants. He used to be such a loving patient person and I miss that. I thought he was going to be an amazing dad because he is so protective and loving but he’s not the dad I imagined him being. I told him tonight I feel like he just hates me and our daughter and he’s said he does hate our daughter and tries to stay away from her as much as possible at the minute because she’s annoying him (she’s going through the terrible twos and testing boundaries). I do feel she’s testing me too but I don’t hate her, she’s just exhausting at the minute. I am now crying for her because how have I given her a dad that can openly say he hates her, my heart aches for her. Am I being dramatic?

Show your support

You are not being dramatic at all. I also thought my husband would be a way different father than he has turned out to be and he has broken my heart in so many ways. Do you think he would have made the same "hate" statement if not on the same meds he is now?

Sounds like his medication needs some adjusting. My husband's anxiety/depression was managed with one medicine but another was added to help with the short temper and irritability. The boundary testing isn't going to magically end - especially if she can tell that he is avoiding her. She will learn boundaries with you but continue to test him. Ask if he'd consider talking to his doctor about his medications, even if it's for the short-term just to see if it helps

If he knows he’s acting this way I don’t know if you’ve spoken to him about it or not but it sounds like he needs different medication. Kids test you throughout life, no matter what age. Atm your child is going through something very big as often what happens around this age hence the terrible two’s is they are learning so much faster. It’s not the same for every child at this age but they want to establish their independence, they may find it frustrating if they can’t communicate fully which can lead to tantrums and anger. Maybe you could look into it with your partner and look at solutions or how to help each other and your child through it. If he is overwhelmed then you should ask him to step away from the situation. Sometimes everyone needs to do that so they can have some time to calm down

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌