Co parenting and single mum advice

So my baby boy is 7 weeks old and his dad and I are trying to co parent. I find it really difficult as during our relationship (which ended about 9 months ago and was pretty brief) he was emotionally abusive / manipulative and what made me leave was when he got physical out of anger. I can’t trust him and I am so angry I have to be involved with him again. I do believe that he would never put baby boy in any danger, but it’s still hard. Any advice? Also, baby’s dad has a partner who also has a child, he keeps telling me how he wants alone time with baby so that they can “be a family” this really upsets me as I feel guilty I can’t provide my baby with a family too. It’s also really difficult to navigate as I don’t want to upset either of them, but baby is no where near old enough to be away from me, and also, I do not trust BD. BD also refuses to buy a pram or bottles or anything because I have all of that and there is “no point” in him having it. Am I in the wrong? Last thing I promise…. How do you navigate co parenting? Does it ever get easier? And how will I know I can trust him with my babies life?

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I’ve been where you are and my best advice is stand your ground and try not to have a emotional reaction when he lashes out, he is the father and is expected to provide his own supplies for when he has baby boy, also set some hard boundaries about what is ok and what is not and always highlight this is in the best interest for baby boy not for you or him. Don’t feel guilty if they get upset with you setting boundaries, that’s their issue, your main concern is you and your little peanut. Also download talking parents, it’s great to use and you can’t delete or edit messages you send to your co-parent.

Advice on co-parenting- it’s honestly all about setting boundaries and having clear communication! Me and my bd split when my LO was 4 months and at first I let him pick and chose when he came and gave him all the clothes/bottles ect. Then he started playing around and it got to the point where I laid out clear boundaries of when/ how often and what time he would have the LO also made him buy clothes to have at his, since being stricter and holding him accountable things are now in a routine and really amicable.

@Justice thankyou so so much!! I’ve been trying to not be emotional with it all and I’ve tried to have very “diplomatic” responses and just ignore his nasty comments but it’s just getting too much! I tried to talk to him calmly about the way he speaks to me and he just said I need to get over it. You are so right tho, my little boy is what matters not his feelings! Thankyou 🫶 I will give that app a go that will be so helpful!

@Eleanor did you make compromises on your boundaries if he didn’t agree with them or did you stay firm?

I stayed firm at the end of the day mothers know what’s best for their son, your his primary carer! Obvious ly we worked together so that for Father’s Day, important events and birthdays extra days are arranged so BD can see the LO x

@Eleanor you’re so right! Okay that makes sense, it’s only fair they get those times with them, thankyou girl xx

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