Husband disciplining a two year old

Wow. I couldn't stand this. He can be tired, but not violent. I really don't know how I would manage this, but this would be a deal breaker to me.

Unacceptable. My husband raises his voice excessively sometimes towards my 2 yr old when he runs out of patience. I deal with it by #1 standing up for my daughter bc seeing mom standing up for them is very important. #2 remain calm yourself. #3 (this works for my husband) I tell him "don't be your daughter's first bully" and this hits a sensitive spot for him. Describing his behavior also helps e.g. "I see you had a rough day but you're displacing your frustration on to our child and that's not okay". Also helps to point out that he is basically throwing a tantrum which makes him no different than our toddler and she will continue throwing tantrums if she sees her father doing so when he is frustrated.

My husband has never taken it to this level but he does sometimes put her in her room when she's being ridiculous about something 🤦🏻‍♀️ Makes no sense to me. It teaches nothing other than that their feelings (which yes are ridiculousness sometimes) equal having to go to bed?? I try to remind him of her age (almost 3 now) and that his expectations for what she understands is too high. They have little impulse control and big feelings right now. They don't need to be coddled but they also don't need to be scared or worried to show their feelings. I try to remind him that as the parent it's our job to keep them safe, enforce the boundaries and apply an effective consequence. For food refusing we take the food away till she's ready to eat again and she has a limited time frame. 99 times she will eventually come back and eat whatever she initially refused.

Your husband needs to educate himself on why he cannot control his own emotions but he expects it from a 2yo toddler who is on a completely different emotional and brain development level. That is absolutely insane. I would not tolerate such a behavior. If anything I would ask him to just leave and leave the whole situation to me. Leave somewhere go eat in a different room watch a movie relax... Eat your food peacefully and not with us. Toxic.

She is 2 yo, he needs to understand how to interact with a child appropriately to the child age! He is showing dark side of him....please do not excuse behaviour with being overtired etc. .... closing a 2 yo for acting as a child in a dark space ... does he even know what it does do child emotional development??! Stand up for your child as they can't do it yet and advocate for what's best for them. A grown up man can learn how to handle his emotions

@Sonia exactly, a grown up man expecting a 2yo to know how to control their emotions whilst he is showing clearly that he still can't deal with his own ...

Yea....it's easy to know what the right behavior to do but when in the moment he's prob regressing to what was done to him as a child. I would tell his ass to take a walk if he can't control himself. That is not knowing what to do..he doesn't. There needs to be another approach for getting her to eat. Locking her in the bathroom isn't gonna get her to eat her food!

That’s awful 😞 poor baby

That's a hard hell no. And my question would be "can you explain to me what locking a two years old in bathroom without the lights on would teach?" Like what was his lesson there for her refusing to eat? That is not discipline. He is disregulated and reacted out of anger towards a literal baby and this is not acceptable.

Bathroom with lights off is another level. Shes 2. I wouldn't find that acceptable for anyone... maybe him actually.

If your husband needs a break, have him eat dinner in his bedroom. With a new baby, you're all going through a tough time right now. Sometimes, he is going to need space, too. If he is not able to be in the family space, he needs to remove himself. As adults, we need to be able to take our own time outs. Explain it however you think it will land best, but that is the goal. Don't worry, it won't always be this hard...

Yikes, he took that over the line. Idk if you have a plan on discipline but you might want to make one. Mine started time outs at 2, just for a minute or two and then we ask her why she went into time out, have her say sorry, we hug and say I love you and try again. If your husband is getting overwhelmed having that plan to fall back on might stop the cruel punishments. You could also tell him if he needs a break or feels himself escalating he could dismiss himself and take some time for himself. You don’t need someone emotionally over the top to be caring for your babies.

Poor baby that had to be traumatizing for her 😕

That’s absolutely horrendous! The 2yr old is probably struggling having a new baby in the house. Your husband needs to know he cannot treat her like that.

Unpopular take - my family was old school. Kids can learn boundaries about the importance of quiet time in a firm but gentle tone. A couple generations ago, children did not get rambunctious and wild at dinner time, they understood even at a very young age that it was time to sit at the table, and there were other times for play. If your child views you as the primary parent, and your husband got this angry, the odds are that you need to maybe explore the notion of setting up routines for her to mirror so she knows when quiet time is and when to sit and be polite and when to be rambunctious and play. I would give your husband some Grace after starting a new routine and instead look to each other as a team as to how you can establish patterns and routines for her to firmly understand, and come up with healthy and agreed upon consequences when being loud at inappropriate times.

Wow. That’s abuse. I would show the door so quick his head would spin. Would take a lot of effort on his part for me to ever forgive and allow him around my child again.

She’s too young to even understand!

If you two never talked beforehand about what was reasonable and unreasonable methods for discipline, then you should have shown your child that you were on the same team as your husband and let the discipline stick. Then after, have a sit down with him and discuss going forward what is a reasonable discipline. Personally the punishment was excess, but it is more important to be and show unification as a couple