A long rant…

Idk whether to leave my partner or not I had a mostly miserable pregnancy and postpartum I’m currently just over 2 months postpartum and I love and adore my son more than anything in this world but I think my partner is just making my PPD worse He lives in a different city and comes over once a week and just this past week he only managed to magically get a week off for paternity apparently 2 months later as that was the only time he was allowed off so since he’s been here he was in his phone playing on his games whilst I pretty much do everything it just got to a point when I just feel like I’m parenting 2 children No matter what I say or do it all comes back to me like I’m the problem and that he isn’t “used to all of this” well neither am I and he does also have a 2yr old child with a previous partner but still doesn’t get it all He helped out the odd few times like taking us doctors to sort out our son for stuff and nipping the odd place here and there he works 2 jobs as these tend to be his excuse for everything and I have benefits and live with the baby and he doesn’t contribute really to anything I got most of the stuff whilst I was pregnant or I was given stuff he contributed £150 towards the pram (I paid the other 50) and got pretty much everything else and he will see me struggling but only when I say I’ve had to borrow money from family he’s then said why don’t you just ask me for money and I’m like???? Cause you don’t make me feel like I can I had an emergency c section I was in labour for 17+ hours and I feel shitty about myself and my mental health and he just wants me to “cheer up” and not be miserable and nagging at him all the time but then is all like I’m here for you and don’t push me away but then I feel sometimes almost mocked when he judges the way I parent or do things and I’m like I know what I’m doing as I do it all day and night all week since the baby has been born and then he’s like you really hurt my feelings when you said this or did this and it’s like he’s purposely trying to aggravate me so I just end things I don’t think his family know me or the baby exists even tho he says they do I just can’t see how when he’s nearly 3 months and no one has seen him or reached out to me or a ft or anything only a matter of weeks ago he tried to say he wasn’t sure our son looked like him as his other child looked just like my partner when she was born and so he wasn’t sure if he was his and I was just mortified and it’s like he’s forgotten all about that after he apologised and everything and it’s like he’s just too comfortable I’ll tidy up he’ll come and make a mess or aggravate me so I get mad and then I’ll be pissed off then he’ll be like what’s wrong with you and I’ll tell him and he’ll make excuses for everything And I just feel stuck as I want my son to have both parents in his life but I just don’t think I can be with his dad as he just makes me feel like I’m the bad guy and that he’s delusional