Venting but any tips appreciated
I’m to the point where I don’t know if I want to stay in the relationship because my fiancé has a great work ethic but that’s it. I’m basically taking care of a grown adult and child at home. If he’s not working he’s sleeping, gaming or on his phone. I work almost full time, am in college, take care of a 9 month old, 6 animals, the house, groceries, and his stuff (laundry, food,etc). I’m unable to work full time officially because he doesn’t want to be a stay at home dad and really only takes care of the child in brief intervals. I’m just to my wits end because he refuses to help with animals or around the house but refuses to rehome animals. I’m drained physically and mentally all the time. This is someone who if there is a hamper 1 ft away still throws the clothes on the floor or thinks he needs to be appreciated when he does a small amount of dish’s. Won’t feed or give water to animals even tho I mention that they are out of food 3 times in 1 hr, doesn’t clean poop because he doesn’t like too, forgets to put stuff of or close doors knowing the animals destroy things. When it comes to me needed peace for school work it’s a hassle to get him to watch the child. I have not gotten a decent 9-10hr sleep since the baby was 3 months old while he has or chooses to play video games all night and complains of being tired. If I get a nap it might be 2 hrs tops before the child’s crying and he comes in the room to wake me up. I could be leaving for work and he wants me to change the diaper because he may have changed 1 earlier and I will stare like seriously I change them all the time. On his days off he tries to pawn the child onto others. A father should spend time with a child. I also have medical issues that limits me carrying stuff or anything of that nature. I’ve asked for help before for stuff to not be done and I have to do everything in the end. I’ve tried to limit tv time to when I’m doing school or eating but he seems to think that’s bonding time to watch tv all day or have a tablet in reach which I don’t like because I’m trying to avoid a tablet child. I don’t know what to do anymore and want to cry or sleep and avoid the problems.
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If he throws his clothes on the floor then why would you pick them up? I understand that it will look messy but that's not your job. Why don't you re-home the animals yourself if that is what's needed? Make a calendar that you can both see that says when he will need to step up as you are working. The no more washing his clothes and animal rehomed (obviously to loving homes) will give you more of an easy time to think. If he refuses to step up then tell him you don't want a relationship like this as you are a single parent. If he still doesn't step up then, I personally, would go it alone. I left my ex when my daughter was 5 weeks old as she and I both deserved better
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You're going to make yourself so ill. If he's not willing to compromise then you need to leave. you're going to eventually end up resenting him if things don't change.