in June 2023 Babies 🇬🇧

SAHM guilt

Do any other stay at home mums know what I mean? I just feel guilty all the time like I could never do enough because I'm not contributing financially. And my husband has a decent job, we do okay, have no debt, just our mortgage and car to pay off, we only have 1 child and no pets at the moment. I still feel so guilty. I take care of everything in the home. Of course my partner helps me out, but I'm home all day so I do most of the housework, shopping, cooking, and taking care of our toddler. I do all the playgroups and trips out, I sort, plan, organise everything in our life, I book appointments, holidays (well, the 1 holiday that we've ever been on). I try to make myself as useful as possible and I still feel like I should be doing more. And it's not anyone else that's made me feel like this, in fact my husband had told me multiple times how great it is and how lucky he feels that I can stay home to look after our son and any future children. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if it stems from maybe my parents always drilling into me about having a good job. I just hate feeling guilty and almost embarrassed whenever someone asks what I do 🥲

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Same here. I went back to work part time when my eldest was 8 months and always said if I had another and could afford to I would want to stay home longer. My second is almost 2 years old and I love being home and not having the pressure of work but also feel guilty I'm not providing although my husband says I am.

Trust me you would feel guilty about something no matter the situation. For example. I am a sahm mom who also works part time from home making good money but I feel constant guilt like I don't do enough to engage my toddler due to working or could do more around the house if I had more time. And if you had to leave to work you would feel guilty you are paying someone else to care for your child or missing milestones. This is what we do to ourselves as mothers. So don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you are kicking ass as a sahm mom and it's awesome your husband tells you he appreciates all you do so remind yourself of all this next time you feel this way.

Trust me I understand, im a stay at home mum , its hard as hell, I feel so quilty as my husband as to work all time , long hours just so we can just about survive , I can't get any benefits to help nothing . I hate not being able to help but can't afford nursery so I can't go back to work atm as no other childcare available for us . We barley see him some weeks as he working so much . 😭

Ugh literally same. The conditioning from society 🙃 always reminding myself that my “work” is just as important and necessary and if I wasn’t home, my son wouldn’t be thriving the way he is and we would be spending all our free time doing chores and not out living life!

You do contribute financially because you are the full time care giver. In a nursery or childminding settling they would be paid a salary. If you went to work, a large proportion of yours and husband’s wage would go on childcare! Someone has to take on that job role! X