How do I stop comparing my toddler to other kids?

just gotta remember that comparing your children won't change your child, your child will still be the child you know and love. so what's even the point of comparing, ya know?

It's just something you need to try and get over. Kids are all different! My two are very different in a lot of ways despite being raised in the same home. It means very little! No one will know when they're an adult whether they were an early or late talker. Whether they were breast or formula fed, etc. None of that stuff matters at the end of the day so try not to sweat it. I understand it feels important now but it really isn't! Just enjoy your child as you're robbing yourself of that opportunity with all the comparison.

i don't think he needs early evaluation girl don't be so hard on him...i can be hard on my 23 month old too since he is a r*pe baby unfortunately

I used to feel like this too….until I had my second baby and saw how different they are. Everything about their development has been different. They have totally different personalities and have different strengths and weaknesses. It will get better! It’s hard to see it now. But, you will …and you will see how special each child is.

@Samantha this is awful

@Fay tell me about it girl it hurts knowing 99% of moms would have terminated luckily my attacker was deported and imprisoned. i'm giving her persveptive it could be worse

@Samantha I’m so sorry you went through that.

@Samantha he does need an early evaluation though. His doctor wanted to wait until he’s 2 and half but I felt his speech regress a bit so I had him screened and he will need to be evaluated. They said he’s behind on speech and social skills.

@Kim thank you 😥 my mom honestly told me the same thing.

@Caroline I’m so trying to enjoy who he is now because I’m worried I’m stressing over something that he will improve on and when he’s older I would regret it. Thank you for your perspective.

There are times that I do it. A friend of mine has a 2.5 year old and my kids are 3.5 and 1.5. Her child talks so much clearer and has a larger vocabulary than my 3.5 year old. However, my child knows and can imitate more animals and knows how to use basic tools and power tools (hubby is a mechanic). Kids learn things at different rates and in different ways, and there isn't anything wrong with that. ❤️

My 3 year old is non verbal and autistic he doesn’t even notice other children. But I know my son will get there one day in his own time, he is no less than any other child and I believe in him. That’s my mindset all children are capable and wonderful

I'm still learning it's hard not to. My baby is 1 year 7 months. She was born 6 weeks early so 1 month and 2 weeks. She is just not starting to walk on her own and stand up without help. She finally has a tooth that popped thru but not much. She's also small for her age. So I totally understand that feeling. It's mind over matter. You have to remind yourself everyday that your doing everything you can. Your child is safe,healthy and happy. It gets easier but it does make those small things better. To me it's like everytime I'm in awe.

It’s hard! I know this feeling all too well. I didn’t do it much with my 4 yr old but do it a lot with my 10 month old due to developmental delays such as sitting or hitting milestones on time. If you ever need to message someone and talk about it, I’m here 💕

Comparison is the thief of joy I enjoy my son for who he is. I never compare. People try to compare him to others and I ignore it. The only thing I’ve ever been concerned about is his weight because he’s 27-28 lbs at 3ft tall

I understand this, I think it’s just me feeling insecure like other babies are more “advanced” because that mom is more attentive or teaching her toddler better than I am. But I just remind myself every kid is different and I’m just blessed to have a daughter eager to learn regardless of the “timeline” I fear there should be

You child will never ever be like any other child. And that is a good thing. He is his own person. He will hit milestones when he hits them. He will grow and develop and end up in the same place as everyone else no matter how slow or fast the development is. Love your kiddo for who they are and everything they can do. No point thinking about what they can’t do unless doctors have real concerns that he is delayed.

My favourite quote as someone who’s worked with under 5s for 10+ years is “Children are like popcorn kernels.. they all pop at different times” ❤️

Stop comparing friend. It will take away your joy and make you ungrateful. I bet your child has so many positives, and you are just getting a glimpse of another child who knows how they are the rest of the 24 hours each day. Remind yourself your child is special because they truly are ❤️

I agree with the above comments and wanted to add that I'd recommend reading: Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore Maybe all you need is a bit of reassurance/guidance and then when you know you're doing the right thing when it comes to parenting, you're not questioning your child as much because you'll be more confident in "everything will happen in its right time". If you're stressed out, he could feel it and not feel as safe/relaxed to explore and learn 🫤 There's no rush, I'm honestly against pressuring children to reach milestones and think you should just meet them where they are. I'm convinced that is what's best for them long term because it mentally sets them back hearing how they're behind etc. Every child has their own timeline and we should just be there to love and encourage and guide and all will be well 😄😄❣️

He might need some DI and speech. I feel like naturally we compare but now that I’m coming to the end of 2 years old, know that age 2-3 the learning is such a spectrum and progression happens incredibly fast randomly. Just keep putting in lots of work everyday to teach him. When he gets services they’ll give you tips too. I feel like comparing for internal education is fine because you’ll know what areas of development/ learning your child needs more attention to, but verbal comparison isn’t okay: basically like the child shouldn’t feel like you’re disappointed in them or mad/sad at them for not understanding something or like they’re not smart.

Think of it this way, if you didn’t compare him, you would never reach out to early intervention: a service it sounds like he can really benefit from. As long as it be comparison comes from a positive, loving place and it’s internal dialogue or dialogue between you and a professional I think that’s totally okay!