He's lusting over other girls
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One thing I’ve learned, men have zero self control. Guaranteed if you did the same thing then they would be livid. They just don’t care about our feelings!
@Sab Before we had kids I came across something similar so he knows how I feel. He really fronts like this good guy but when you do secretive stuff like that behind your wife then he is nothing more than trash in my eyes. His communication is non existent and we fight about this all the time. I actually know I am in the right a lot of the time but I think he gives himself way more credit than he deserves.
@Ness So very true! I hate how he has ruined my idea of love. It hurts deep down when I see really happy couples who protect and can't keep their hands on each other, because that is all I ever wanted.
It’s so sad when men get comfortable doing all this knowing they got wife and kids at home waiting for him. I’m so sorry.
And now trust is broken in more than one way. Not only has he gone behind your back and tried to hide it but he’s also clearly looking at other women in a way you aren’t comfortable with. And speaking from experience, you can never truly come back from this and get over it fully, but it does get easier to live with.
I can tell you. If he’s looking liking or searching things like that… that’s why it’s come up. I totally agree with you. Completely disrespectful to your partner!
Really sorry you are going through this, this is how it started with my ex. And over time as I started following my gut and it got worse from there. It made me feel so degraded, lost my confidence and self esteem. He gaslighted and tried to make me feel bad about it. I stayed a year too long and it is completely impacted how I viewed myself, how I was viewed relationships and didn’t realise how much I then had to work on myself in my next relationship. He slowly broke me. He came across as this loving dad who was hugely female rights, had so many female friends he was there to support about their messed up boyfriends and husbands. It was all an illusion. I know it’s hard when you’re married with kids but you deserve real love and commitment, and your kids will end up seeing how happy you are and even what a real partner is like one day. Or just even being empowered for a while being single, it’s scary as hell but you find your tribe and life has no option but to move forward
@Sab And then use the excuse of being a man to gaslight you into thinking it normal
@Ness It really does break trust but it's also not something I want to live with and accept at all. I am 4 month pp imagine how I look at myself now compared to these girls, I am getting angry all over again
@Courtney I've been searching trying to find another reason but I think you are right, they would of show up because he is engaging in this kind of content. However, he hadn't liked or commented on anything probably to decide me and make me feel crazy for bringing it up
@Alice for a couple of years now I had a gut feeling he was hiding something from me from his old phone when he suddenly wouldn't let me use it and changed his password, I am certain he did something but I'll never know. His attitude is so horrible and he constantly blames me and says I criticize him or that I am never happy but I think it's a way to hide and deflect what is really going on. Not too long ago I told him I am not happy and would consider leaving and he called me a bitch and said I am one of those women who trap the "good men" with kids and then take away their good years. Honestly sometimes I can't even believe what comes out his mouth. He seems to think he knows women better than me because I am certain no women would find that kind of attitude attractive.
Excuses that’s what they are. He knows exactly what his doing. I hope you find a way to get away from this and find peace whatever route you decide, whether it’s now or in future because this is just misery and it’s not healthy at all.
Imagine investing your time and energy into lusting after women who don't know you even exist and wouldn't care one tiny speck of sand if you got run over by a truck tomorrow. This is exactly how my ex was and so I left him. Now he's addicted to porn, unemployed, lives with his mom and just about to turn 50. But at least he has Instagram to lust over and keep him warm at night over a woman who genuinely loved him for him, never said no to sex and cooked him dinner every night. What an idiot I was...
Oh no. Not the second phone. This is what I found soon after and I cannot unsee what I saw, it was so messed up what he was doing behind my back and not only that I saw he had done this in his previous relationships where he would say to me they were all toxic and crazy. He was always the victim. And the changing off passwords, means there’s hidden folders or apps etc. He’s hiding the extent of his deceit. Really sorry, you deserve so much better.
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What did you see if I may ask was it explicit?
@Melissa what a waste of air he sounded, so sorry! This is how I feel about my DH I do a lot for him but it's like he doesn't like being married. I've already not done the deed for a while because I can't bring myself to get intimate with someone who doesn't make me feel wanted or loved in a way I deserve. Men who lust like this are weak men and frankly don't deserve a good woman in their life!
@Alice I will never find out probably because he's good at manipulating the truth. I've seen the number of this girl from work who he was friends with and even when I was uncomfortable with his level of involvement he wouldn't cut ties, anyways I found her blocked in his WhatsApp and I really want to ask why but he will turn it on me and ask why I am even looking etc and deflect as always.
@AliCat🇵🇭🐾♈ it was full of pretty much half naked/ OF type girls all with a particular thing in common BBL type models. He says he's a bum man and that's what they all had which just confirms more to me he was definitely looking. Like 95% of the explore page was full of and even after I tried refreshing there was still part showing up so he's defo been on them
Yeah my ex kept trying to make me feel bad that these were really good friends I was making him cut off and I was like oh really, then why have I never met them. Will they be coming over for dinner? Turns out he had slept with most of them and been sexting some of them. Later I ended up finding a hidden folder of sex videos with some of them. I never thought it would all be that bad. Follow your gut. Your partner is a manipulative narcissist, he will never change. He’ll just bring you down with him, and your kids too. Hope you find the strength to leave. If you need fuel just reach ot to these people. You won’t need to look far. Always welcome to msg me if you need to chat.
@incognito Oh man, several...geez..yea he has some growing up to do. Women are not sex objects real talk💯
@Alice what an asshole! I decided to post a very saucy picture of myself that he once told me to remove, since he enjoys looking at other girls saucy pictures. I've got the ick so hard from him now that I honestly don't even care.
@AliCat🇵🇭🐾♈ legit, men think we're a showroom
I want to say I have a fake IG and the profile is a man. My suggested content shows that stuff too. Without looking any of that stuff up my feed is filled with half naked women and butts. lol it MIGHT not actually be his fault.
@Asia Funny you say that because I was reading up in some forum that the male account son IG get feeds like that whereas females don't so much and that if you change your gender to female it will "disappear". I dunno I am still pretty upset it's almost like I was supposed to see that. I may as well have been on PornHub with all that content showing
Tell him to get rid of instagram. It’s social media, it won’t destroy his life if he doesn’t have it. Family is more important than half naked females he doesn’t know. And if he doesn’t respect that then maybe re negotiate where you stand with him
@Ness he only opened Instagram a year ago into his adulthood and it's only been problematic now. I would be willing to do the same if it caused less problems honestly
Yeh that’s not right at all. Was this the first time you caught him doing this? When married and kids involved yeh I can understand it’s hard. You may not make that decision now but in time you will be certain what step to take. He needs to explain the root problem and communicate but some men they love avoiding all this time - they only act right when it’s too late.