I can't take my toddler ANYWHERE
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I use high value toys and snacks during errands, but I try to make it quick because my boy is also go-go-go. We do grocery pickup 99% of the time because it's easier. We have a dog so we are really good about soft/gentle hands. Sometimes he gets excited and tries to hit her face but redirection is key. Kids are gonna scream when they can't get their way, it doesn't even phase me anymore (this is my third boy) I make mine sit in the carriage/stroller/whatever. He doesn't get his way because he screams. What about some therapy? I don't know how the waiting lists are where you live, but getting on a list now might be a good idea.
@Cara therapy for me or him? I just feel bad for everyone around having to listen to him screaming his head off in the stroller 😅 I always teach gentle hands. He knows what it is too because after he hits as a once off for attention (not during a tantrum), I say gentle hands and he then touches my hand/arm gently. Then smiles and hits again. 3 boys would be so hard 😪
@Jasmine this is my last resort... I was hit as a kid and remember how it made me feel. I shut up and did what I was told 100% but never truly forgave my mum. I'm hoping for other ways to teach him 😅😅 it'd hard when all I was taught was being hit so I'm kind of not doing much which is clearly making it worse
I feel that whole heatedly. I wasn't whooped or spanked growing up. I did get a quick tap on the hand for really bad things in the moment. My husband was whooped and (in my opinion) it was border line abuse. I thankfully got him out of that to the point of the worse he can do is just pop his hand but I do know it's not for everyone I am a teacher at a daycare learning center. Babies our kids age I don't think need therapy for things like this. This is just them not understanding body boundaries yet and wanting to play and explore more. Developmentally this is a spot everyone gets to as they learn what they Prefer and want and how it opposes what we want sometimes Distraction can help with outings. Maybe also with the yelling and tantrums but be careful not to overly give into tantrums or they never will stop. As for the hitting. Even at the daycare it's an issue. It wasn't until I had my job and saw how different parenting styles did or didn't work with/for kids that I decided my way of parenting.
When it comes to them doing things to you or someone else i believe in showing them what it is they are doing. If they hit you. You pop their hand explain what hurt is and that we don't hit people or they could hit and hurt yu back (like in real life) I did the same thing with biting. When he bit me hard and had me screaming I nibbled his arm (SUPER SOFT AND SLOW) and stopped when he looked at me weird (not in pain but not comfortable) and explained that it hurt and when he bites me it hurts too and we don't hurt each other It worked for us very well. But I do know it's not for everyone. But I do hope something in this helps or you find something that works for you🙏🏾
@Jasmine I will definitely try not to give into tantrums... what are your thoughts on time out as an educator? It's hard when gentle parenting is thr big deal at the moment. Sometimes it becomes permissive parenting. It's hard trying to find a fine line... hitting clearly worked back in the day but there has to be another way 😅 Like your partner, I would worry that a tap on the hand might become a hit eventually as its kind of something that's kind of engrained in Mr from childhood
Yes i understand that 💯. It's hard to stop and doing a little could lead to doing more which is scary. I do believe in time out they do work well for Redirection and reflection I use that the most with a stern talking to for most situations it's only for extremely things do I pop his hand. In school Redirection and time outs are our preferred methods. YES gentle parenting is hard because it can turn quickly into permissive parenting. Which most of our student parent are doing without realizing it.
Kicking and hitting you even in a tanturm is Unacceptable in my book. Do yu eveb pop his hand with yurs when he hits yu? So he knows how it feels? I don't spank my son but i do pop his hand now he doesn't hit anymore because I would explain hurt and he could see what it felt like.