Troubles with my husband
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He also has no reason to get better because he obviously doesn’t care about his own child. You won’t divorce him so he might as well do whatever he wants. There are no consequences…
Honestly if only it were as simple as to remove him. Unfortunately I can’t and don’t want him to be out of our sons life despite him not helping as much I just can’t see life without him
Just wish he could respect me
He won’t respect you. He doesn’t even care. Also don’t start complaining when your son turns against you too because he will teach him you ain’t shit/an alcoholic/bad mother. Do you not want to divorce him for religious reasons?
@Neena I agree. The man you have your son around is who your son will become. Your son will hate you and women in general. She needs to accept that a two parent abusive household with a deadbeat isn’t better than being a single mom. What purpose is he serving the child?
He knows you won't divorce him no matter what. He has absolutely no reasons to be better you keep sticking to him even if behaving like shit. Change your mindset and show him he might loose his family. MAYBE he gonna give 2 cents of efforts.
What do you get out of this marriage seriously? You say you don’t want a divorce but he won’t change, I’ve been there wasted 10 years with him hoping he’d change but he never did. So sorry to be blunt but if you want to put up with that type of behaviour forever then that’s what you’ll do
Why is divorce not an option when your husband doesn’t seem to be offering even the most simple and reasonable tasks for a father a husband? No help with the baby, cleaning, nor does he respect the relationship if he’s going and telling every little argument. Also did he not know you enjoyed a drink every now and again before you 2 had a baby?
@Tishina my son Won’t hate me or women in general. I won’t raise him like that but I don’t plan on leaving his father till I’m atleast established at my work and can provide financially independently by myself for us. He has quite some time to change up his attitude but divorce over this is too extreme even for me. Yesterday he did apologize after I made it clear I’m upset with him and didn’t want to sleep with him in the same bed
Lol Incog, you’re delusional if you think your son won’t hate you just because of your sole influence 😂 Wake up and open your eyes! Your husband as a man, in your son’s definitive years (0-5) will 100% shape him. How to treat women (like shit and they are not to be respected) to hate you and pick flaws about you, to not listen to a word you say and if you do say anything bad, to run and tell him or grandparents, to remind your child that mummy is an alcoholic and always drinking, these things will get repeated in public too. Even if it doesn’t show in his early years, he will internalise all the hatred about you and he will treat his future girlfriends/wife the same disgusting way.
You said you feel it’s too extreme to divorce over this. But is it really? I mean look, it’s obviously upset you this much you’ve taken to the internet to talk about it. People divorce for many reasons. 1. He doesn’t help with the baby at all. 2. He has no respect for your marriage and involves outside parties at every opportunity. This actually is a form of emotional abuse as his tactic is to portray you to others as some sort of weirdo/crazy person who tormenting HIM. He’s trying to break down your outside support so you’ll be trapped and isolated even more and reliant on him solely. 3. He is trying to paint the picture that you are an alcoholic. Again another abuse tactic because should you try and divorce him, I’ll bet those photos he took will come in handy to say you’re an alcoholic and can’t have custody of your child. 4. He has no respect for you as a person, let alone wife or mother. 5. You are just an unpaid house cleaner, childminder and free sex worker to him.
You said he apologised yesterday after you told him not to sleep in the same bed, whoopty woo, he did the bare minimum to apologise so he could sleep in his warm bed and you fell for it 🤦🏽♀️ Is a fake apology all it takes to dissuade you Incog? Again you need to wake up and smell the coffee. You’ve been for marriage AND church counselling. Fuck all has changed. You can hope/pray/wish he will change - but he won’t. He has no consequences to his actions so he will carry on. There are no repercussions to his actions and if he takes it a bit far and upsets you, all he needs to do is issue a fake apology to smooth things over for a few days and then resume his normal agenda.
He doesn’t help with the baby? Divorce