Expectations of an 8 year old.

I’ve also got an 8 year old stepdaughter and a biological 10 month old and i’ve had to prompt her to start doing some of those things too..sometimes it can be just us if their dad is working so while i get baby ready but most of the time i end up doing a lot for SD too she’s only just learning to brush her hair and she seems to have gone backwards in the sense of remembering to do things even like flushing the toilet and washing her hands, at this age they can do chores so she does sometimes make her bed without being asked but for some reason she’s stopped folding her clothes and putting them aside for me to wash and instead she just shoves it all under her bed 😅 it’s hard when you’ve got certain things at yours and certain things at the mums house but it’s the same with her everyone seems soft and even my partner says ‘she takes so long to get ready it’s easier to just do it for her’ but for me instead of letting her have so much time on her tablet etc I make sure that she - 1/2

2-2 has enough time to start getting ready before we go out because she’s mainly here at the weekend so we do have more time since we’re not working around school hours, she gets to practise all that kind of stuff here. In a morning I tell her my rules are that you need to have brushed your teeth, hair, had breakfast and gotten dressed before going on the tablet or watching your tv shows unless we’re having a pj day 🙈 if she gets her hands mucky while eating food instead of going straight up to wash her hands she’ll sit there and say ‘i think i need a wipe’ me and her dad reply quite differently 😂 They’re definitely old enough to take care of their basic needs at this age, even make the bed and tidy their things away. My SD likes to be involved with cooking so sometimes we do cook together or bake too which gets her doing some stuff a bit more ‘grown up’

I have an 8 year old SS, and we used to struggle with this too… We didn’t bother involving BM, we just got him to do everything independently at ours and he soon started doing it at hers too. At the age of 8, she should be able to wipe her own bum - what does she do at school when she goes to the toilet? The teacher isn’t going to wipe her bum for her… She should also be able to get herself dressed, shower herself (we start the shower for my SS) and brush her own teeth, I would probably still help with brushing hair tho bc it can be difficult to get tangles out. As for the park, I’d say that’s personal choice but for me, even if the park was next door to my home, I wouldn’t allow my SS to go by himself.

My SD is 9 now but we had the same issue about a year ago. I ended up having to reteach her everything whenever she came back from her mum’s but she is getting there now. We did have a conversation with her mum about it and how she should be doing things for herself like brushing her own hair, wiping her own bum, showering (with help to turn on the water) and getting herself ready for school etc. We still have issues sometimes but she is relatively self sufficient with them all now. She is now learning how to make herself breakfast and she’ll help me (or her mum) with dinner sometimes too. As previous comment said I think some things are personal preference and depending on the child. We wouldn’t trust SD to go to the park by herself but that’s purely because of where we live. Sometimes she’ll play in the front garden by herself if I’m in the kitchen and can keep an eye on her. Don’t think a convo with mum will hurt if you have an okay relationship with her🤷🏼‍♀️

Brush her teeth, shower and get dressed on her own. Wipe own bum definitely. Hair with help depending on how easy it is to detangle. Wouldn’t let her go to the park on her own. It only takes a second… but personal care she should be mastering.

I have a seven year old SD, that lives here with us and I would not allow her to go out on her own anywhere. Whilst I encourage her independence eg go and grab yourself a snack, put your bowl in the sink, get yourself dressed I wouldn’t allow her to be unsupervised in the big world. With bathing etc, we run the bath or put the shower on and she does it herself but we stay upstairs and ask her to shout us if she needs us and then we check that she has done all of the necessary hygiene measures just by asking. She brushes her own hair but I check it’s presentable for school etc Hope that helps, but in terms of expectations it’s for you to decide as a family. Xx

My 9 y/o stepdaughter defo won’t do this stuff without being prompted, but when she’s told to she’s fine to shower herself, brush her hair etc etc. it’s just kids being kids really they don’t think of these things.