Update

I’m not sure if anyone even cares but I need to vent. I posted a few days ago that I was in the hospital because of my back and I need surgery. My fiancé has since gone psychotic over protective. Not letting me even move. It’s now worse. He’s afraid. He also does not want me to get surgery. For a valid reason. His first wife fell and hurt her back. Pain pills led to more pain pills which led to heroin which ultimately led to her death. The neurosurgeon yesterday prescribed me pain pills. This is the first time in a year of excruciating pain that I’ve gotten any pain medication. He’s scared the same will happen to me. Sobbing. Inconsolable. Addiction runs in my family. But never me. I’ve never even done drugs. But that’s besides the point. I told him he can disperse the medication if he wants. She only gave me 7 of them. I just can’t take the pain anymore. Then at a job site a guy next door is throwing away an inversion table. Fiancé goes to grab it for me. Guy who’s working for him says he wanted it. Fiancé said well so and so needs it for her back she was just in the hospital. His worker says I’ll just show up at your girls house then. Wrong thing to say to a man who’s already at his limit. He told the worker if he ever speaks my name again or even thinks to go near my house he will kill him with his bare hands. We are close with his workers and even invited them to Easter dinner. I gotta get him to calm down some how.

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Sounds like he’s really struggling and holding on to some unhealed trauma. I’m not a therapist or anything, but it definitely seems like he could benefit from counseling or just having someone outside of you to talk to. That kind of behavior sounds intense and honestly, a little scary. It also seems like he’s projecting his fears onto you, especially from what he went through with his ex. But withholding pain meds from you while you’re in excruciating pain? That’s not okay. That’s not protecting you — that’s controlling, and it’s unfair. You deserve relief and he needs to trust that you’ll use the meds responsibly. This isn’t forever — just to help you manage the worst of it. Maybe also look into alternative pain relief options too, just to have other tools. But seriously, your pain and healing process should matter just as much as his fear.

Whoa man that's intense. I can tell your fiance loves you deeply maybe give him some kind words as well. Prayers to you and your family this will be a very trying emotional and loving time!

@Tiffany he is not with holding the pain pills. He said it’s my decision, but he is petrified so I was trying to find ways to help him, yet help me. One of them being he can disperse them.. idk. Just thought it may help him through this. He said he does trust me he’s just literally so scared. I can’t say I blame him. Definitely a lot of PTSD going on there. I agree with therapy. He knows that I’m stronger than that, but if I’m being honest it is a scary thought ya know? Addiction runs heavily in my family, and just because I’m not an addict now doesn’t mean it can’t ever happen. That’s why I went the whole year trying other things natural and even over the counter pain relievers before eventually caving in.

@BreeAnna he truly does. And I love him deeply. But I’m also super independent and don’t understand what, “sit down and don’t do anything” means lol. He means well, and the comment from the worker was wild imo and I’m surprised he didn’t just knock him out. Especially since we invited him to Easter dinner at my home the day prior. We aren’t talking about a thrown out back here. I have two herniations, one extremely large, a bulging disk, stenosis, and degenerative disk disease. We will get through it. I’m protective of him as much as he is me so seeing him struggle with something (even if it has to do with me) I want to immediately fix it and help.

Please be in your soft era, stress kills, overworking kills, anxiety kills especially women! Please please please, rest and relax! Sending healing energy your way!!

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