I'm really feeling defeated (venting)

You are not failing by leaving him. You are growing. If a person won't grow with you or better themselves for the sake of those who depend on them then they are hurting all of you. It won't help to stay

Hmm... hes paying all the bills but wont help with the kids and house work.... is he abusive?do you think hes cheating? Does he ignore the kids or interact with them? How much of the things you need help with that you tell him about does help you with?... if anything do a pro and con chart...

@Gigi Verbally and we pretty much don't have any contact if he's not home and he doesn't answer the phone ever. Yes I do think he cheating and has in the past. He interacts with them for short periods of time then he's either consumed in his phone or tv or leaves and comes back drunk. He only helps financially and he's complained about it all the time and is talking about leaving his job because he wants to stay home and do nothing which is what he thinks I do with two toddlers 5 and under

@Brittany Thank you. I'm working on leaving because this is really weighing on me mentally, physically and emotionally.

Accumulate some money first, do you share a bank account? Take bits at a time out to squirrel, and do uber eats or if they have instacart in your town do that and squirrel it away then try to make a plan to escape... if you want to try work it out you should probably ask him what yall Both can do to make the relationship stronger and let him answer just to hear what he has to say..(just say ok if it's something you don't like and disengage).Toxic guys usually make it about what the girl is doing wrong and will never say what they themselves can do better@.. if he's more genuine in answer then there is your opening to a more elaborating enlightening convo.do you have a house together? but if not and you feel like you're walking on eggshells then my 1st jot.

@Gigi Thank you this was super helpful! I'll have to go with the first because I ask what can I do to help the relationship successful and he basically didn't give any answer but ask was I talking about financially. He always makes it about himself and always try to shut me down as soon as I start talking saying I'm not listening when in fact I have smh. Sadly it's the end of the road because he really show no respect and gives a bunch of empty promises and lies. But apart of me really wishes he could do better but I don't see it happening anytime soon. We do live together the lease ends next month as well.