Offended Parents

My parents have been amazing with helping us get ready for the little one coming, they have bought the pram and car seat and helped paint the nursery but as we are getting nearer the end I can’t help but feel like they are offended by some of the decisions we are making. The first being when I told them under no circumstances would they be allowed to kiss the baby. My dad seems to think since he’s on immune suppression he will be fine to kiss her 😳 The second was when they were helping me shop for the hospital bag and I told them I wasn’t telling anyone when I went into labour. I understand they are excited but they can be over bearing sometimes and I don’t want 1000 messages asking for constant updates while I’m trying to push a whole human out! There are other examples but they were the two that caused the biggest issues. Am I being unreasonable asking for these things? They have been a really great help and I don’t want to upset anyone but I think they think this baby is more theirs than mine 😭

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Not at all. I completely get it. And ultimately, it's your baby, your body Your choice what you do. They will deal with it and be there for you still. Sometimes people just need a little time to process things.

@Ann-Marie thank you ♥️ I love my parents but everything is so overwhelming just now trying to get all the last bits together I think I’m over thinking everything 😂

Realistically though if it’s in the middle of the night they won’t be able to visit anyway. My oh was the one that let people know after baby was born. It happened late at night anyway. If your dad has immune suppression then surely for his health he shouldn’t be kissing the baby anyway.

And it is okay to over think. But its good that your recognising it at the moment. You'll get through it. We all will! :) good luck x

Just what @Ann-Marie said. Your body, your baby, your choice. At the end of the day, you’re gonna be the one mostly with baby and will be doing all. Good if they are helping but maybe try set boundaries when baby comes. That’s how grandparents can be like, they like to over do it but not respecting your decisions what you do.

Those are totally reasonable boundaries

God no! My parents are a massive help, they do so much for us, but they also know we have different views, boundaries and "discipline" ideas to what they had, and they respect that 100%. I also planned on not telling anyone when I went into labour and they knew that. But then I needed them to come and feed my animals as we left for the hospital early hours, and I ended up facetiming my mum just because I wanted to talk to her. But they left me to it, and it was my choice to speak to them.

Any time I had a disagreement with a "rule" I would constantly send articles and studying showing why we made a certain decision. Ie no kissing, articles about children dying of RSV, cold sore exposure. Not wanting to get vaccinations- no seeing baby within first 6 months, articles (magazine and research) about pertussis, rsv. Etc

Let them be offended. Even if they were unreasonable boundaries, it's your child and your decisions

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