Looking for words of encouragement

We’ve been going through hell and back because of high conflict bm . We’ve tried to compromise and switch schedules at the interests of sd then when it came to arranging a new scheduled visit she flakes . Then she uses that against us to say we’re not present . I keep telling my husband to stick to schedule or to get a lawyer to relook the court order to make things more black and white of what is expected . Husband is falling apart and idk what to do anymore or how to help. It’s now taking a mental toll on me to the point where if he doesn’t take action and pull himself out his rut I’m considering getting a divorce because it’s so unfair that I have to now pick up the pieces to this mess and still show up for our daughter . He’s already emotionally checked out because he’s stuck on missing out on his oldest daughter’s life . I’ve tried to be understanding and help . But if he’s not willing to try and fight for better rights then what am I supposed to do . I can’t allow all this mess to consume me . I can’t less this affect my availability to be a better mom for our own daughter . I don’t know how else to express this