partner helping?

does anyone find that there partners are hands on? hate feeling like this but i am really struggling with my partner i feel like i have to ask him to look after our son sometimes, give him he due he does and helps with night shifts etc, but sometimes he moans when doing it and watches how long he had him for and moans he doing to much working and looking after his son saying most men don’t do this, i mean 80% i am the one watching our son as i am on mat leave but sometimes i do wish he would want to come from work and willingly take him off me even when he knows i look exhausted. Yes he works hard but he works from home 2 a week and off on weekends. i just feel like a single mum sometimes let me know your thoughts and ideas of how u manage to get your partners to help with routine or help in some way?

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This is such a common issue trust me! Finding the balance is really hard.. men do feel like their job is working and a mums job is the baby most of the time.. we have had many arguments over trying to share the load! It will take a while to find the balance but I do think most mums do most of it and the man helps out here and there unfortunately.. I don’t think he will see it your way until they have the baby all day by themselves

oh he did the whole night shift once and soon as i creep my head through the door he was like right i am going bed this is torture lol ffs

Yeah it is frustrating! Going to work is 100x easier than being the stay at home parent!

My partner does even less tbh, with baby and household chores, I have her like 95% of the time and have done from birth. We formula feed as well so it's not like he can even "blame" that. He's only ever done two night shifts; the first night in hospital after my emcs when I physically couldn't, and for one night during my weeks stay in hospital when she was only 4 weeks old. He also complains or pulls a face when I ask. He won't change a dirty nappy either, only wet ones. He also wfh but for 4 out of 5 mon-fri 8:30-4/4:30. I don't have any advice really but know you're not alone🩷 xx

Don't get me wrong, he will feed her or change her, plays with her etc. And they have a good bond, but it feels like sometimes he views parenting as a full time job for me but almost like a hobby for him??

It FRUSTRATES me so much reading stories like this. My baby dad is abusive so isn’t involved AT ALL, and my current partner who basically took me on from 6 weeks pregnant took on all the responsibilities because I was bed ridden and couldn’t stop being sick. Now don’t get me wrong we argue, but first thing in the morning he’s up and cleaning, my only jobs around the house are washing and cooking (but if I can’t do them, he will take over). When baby is here (we’ve discussed this) I will take on most responsibilities baby wise just because I am an anxious first time parent and want to learn on my own, but he’s already said when I need to shower, rest, nap, anything really he will take baby from me willingly. He will help me bath/ change nappies. I tell you this because see if he didn’t? If he didn’t see my stress and help me, I would be single. End of. I would rather struggle on my own, than be a single mother in a relationship whilst also taking on all household chores whilst he sits

Oh his ass after work. I hate this misconception that men go to work so can’t be parents 🙄 they made that child 50%, and I bet they didn’t make out to any of you girls that they wouldn’t take on any responsibilities or you’d be left feeling depressed and lonely in your relationships- because if they HAD, I’m more than positive you’d have reconsidered starting a family with these men in the first place. It’s a vile frame of mind and I hate that women just have to get on with it :(

at least i don’t feel alone then lol he even taken holiday this week been off 10 days only done 2 night shifts his excuse will be he works hard and wants a holiday to rest before work! anyway hopefully he starts pulling his weight soon otherwise i probs end up being a single mum i feel like we’re room mates atm as he sleeping in front room hr doesn’t even sleep in the same bedroom with us

My partner didn't for weeks until I said enough and told him it was bothering me. Now he'll only sleep separate on a wed night before he's in the office Thursday morning x

Maybe ask him to do every other feed , burp and nappy change when he’s off so you get a break that way? Things won’t be like this forever ! I guess he sleeps elsewhere because of having to be up for work but try and talk when you can

My partner is the opposite. He complains he works too much and misses out on seeing the babies grow up and missing out on all their milestones, so whatever time he has at home he will happily spend it w baby. He jokes to swap 😂 for me to work and him SAH. But that’s only a joke. But yeah as soon as he walks in those doors baby is already waiting for him at the door he picks baby up and does everything until about 8pm, until baby needs a Bf and back to me for bed. If he has nipples to BF he’d do that too. I’m so sorry your man is moaning, mine doesn’t. He’ll happily spend hours w the baby. Because I’m already spending 8-10hrs a day w the baby whatever he has left is not much at all.

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