Mind blowing interview of parenting expert got me thinking

I watched the interview of Erica Komisar on DOAC (diary of a CEO) and my mind has been blown. I knew that the first three years of a child’s life are crucial but I didn’t really know why and so I just told myself I’d return to work as planned and managed to get a 4-day week approved (also luckily I work from home but the job is still very demanding). Having watched that interview it’s clear that a child needs no nursery or daycare in the first three years of its life - only it’s mum. Ignoring that has led to the mental health crisis of today Erica claims, where teenagers and young adults are suffering with anxiety, depression, BPD etc… because their attachment to their mum was disrupted too early on. This interview has really got me wondering whether me and my husband should let our house out and downsize by renting a flat until our son turns three and whether I should return to work at all… Me not working would mean go from a 3 bedroom house with a garden to a 2 bedroom flat with no garden, maybe get a cheaper car, have barely any spending money (but a small safety net in the bank). It would only be for 3 years and then we could move back into our house once I’m working again (in theory). I’m so worried that our son’s going to start nursery next month and feel like I’ve abandoned him and the trust will be damaged that I don’t want to return to work anymore even though (for our current life and bills) I need to return since my husband only earns 1/3 of our household income. Has anyone watched it or can relate to this dilemma?

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I highly recommend all the time you can with your small human. It can be tough to be a sahm but honestly i wouldn't swap it for all the houses or vacations etc in the world. Thre is time after to make money and do what ever, you'll never get this time back with them. My almost 5yr old only kust started 2 days of kindy this year, before that it was me home full time with her and my husband worked 4 days (did all his hours in 4 days so no loss of pay) but we are always talking about how much he and i would miss if ahe had been cared for by a centre etc and also, those people even if they are lovely are not you. Youre building framework for their self worth, values systems and everything in those years and if you can take work off or your partner not work for that time etc i highly recommend it. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I watched that interview and really liked it. It made me feel so much better about my decision to be a stay at home mom until my youngest starts school but also so sad for those who have no choice but to go back to work. I believe she's right about the first three years being crucial for children to be with their parents. I feel like our government needs to step up and support parents decision to raise their own children. In another country(I can't remember which one) the government pays the mom to be a stay at home mom because they see it as a job. Why can't we do something like that?

Neuro science tells us the first 8 years of a child's life is where all the learned behaviors come from. At 9 they start to experience stress. I'm super thankful my husband is the sole provider for our family so I can stay home and home school our kids. I feel so bad for those who have to go back. Working a 9 to 5 on top of being a mom is too much. But alas I also understand why. We need 9 to 5 people to keep our economy going. Not everyone can or will break the cycle. They want us segregated from family they want us to be away from our children all day so they can indoctrinate them. Teach our children the things they want them to learn. Make us used to the commitment of 9 to 5 and then taking our work home with us.

I would change to a smaller place to be a stay at home mum for my 2 in a heartbeat! You never get these years back and you can always take your little one to the park every day so he gets outdoor time! I said to my husband before we bought our place and had kids that I wanted to stay at home for the kids until they went to school. And then only do something in school hours. I haven't watched that interview but grew up with a mum who always worked and barely saw her. And knew I didn't want that for my kids.

I would love to stay at home but we could never afford it. Already cut everything we can and if I don’t go back to work, will have to repay them maternity leave. I hate the focus on parents working. It’s so unnecessary and disrespectful to parents who do stay at home having this assumption they’re “doing nothing”. It’s honestly breaking my heart as we always wanted me to stay home until they were five at least, but it’s just not going to happen.

I don’t think you should worry too much about what 1 person says/believes. My mum was a stay at home mum and both myself and my sister have had issues with our lives. Definitely not all about whether you’re in nursery or not before the age of 3